Rock On: Ideas for next year's Jazz gift list

HANG-UP

The Ute football team introduced co-offensive coordinator Dennis Erickson to the public last week.

Erickson, who won two national championships at Miami, admitted that winning usually hinges on talent. He also delivered a narrative on play calling, joking that every touchdown his teams ever scored was under his direction.

“I did have a couple of third-and-15s where I was calling for information upstairs (to assistant coaches) and for some reason their radios went out and nobody ever answered me. Give me a call…third-and-20…scrrrrrrch! (static sound). I never heard from them,” he said.

Just wondering: Is that anything like the sound the NCAA heard this year when it called Miami to investigate?

FAME TRAIN

Erickson will be working alongside 26-year-old Brian Johnson.

No pressure there.

Erickson said: “Brian Johnson’s a superstar in our business; he really is.”

That would make Erickson, what, an immortal?

FULL HOUSE

Speaking of Miami, Don Shula, the longtime Dolphins coach, was in West Valley City for a restaurant opening two weeks ago.

Among his remarks was that he hopes patrons at his Shula’s restaurants “end up walking out saying what a great dining experience they had.”

“We call them raving fans,” his wife Mary Anne said, using a football analogy. “That’s what we want.”

Considering the Dolphins were 29th in attendance last year, they might just want to call them diners.

BENCH BACKUP

The Jazz stood pat on the trade deadline last week, saying they like their team right now.

Yet the Jazz potentially could lose 10 players to free agency next summer.

No problem. Sources say the Jazz are preparing to play the 2013-14 season with Gordon Hayward, Derrick Favors and the sales staff at Larry H. Miller Toyota in Murray, if necessary.

GO TIME

Jazz season ticket holders were “treated” to a special thank-you gift from the team last week: logo waffle irons.

Rock On will skip the lines about waffling over trade possibilities and go straight to this: Any chance that next year they can give out app launchers?

BRING IT ON

A California high school cheerleading coach has been suspended after allegedly convincing two of her students to settle their differences with their fists.

Yeah, that’s bad, but let’s be honest — in high school is there actually anyone who isn’t fighting with the cheerleaders?

ON ALERT

Tiger Woods says that with practice, Barack Obama could be a pretty good golfer.

This just in: The president has called emergency cabinet meetings in Augusta, Pebble Beach and Honolulu.

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Email: rock@desnews.com; Twitter: therockmonster