In-laws and holidays: A guide to happier family gatherings

"That's the world according to divorce. It's not a good use of your money or my time," he said. "If everyone will do what's in the best interests of the children, they'll make right decisions."

That includes former in-laws. "People who used to celebrate the holidays together can add all sorts of complications. Everyone needs to be clear about their expectations and the more communications there can be, the less likely there will be a problem," he said.

McGinnis and his wife used to visit her parents for holidays. Then they started having in-laws to their house. Now, they are the in-laws who wait to see what the children, now grown, will do. It's a life cycle.

His son and grandsons came the night before Thanksgiving this year and stayed into the morning. His daughter-in-law had to work. After they watched the parade on TV, when it was time for them to head out, McGinnis' wife sent a special pie and gifts of food with them. "We would rather have had our son, grandson and daughter-in-law with us. But we were glad to see them when we saw them."

Life — and holidays — involve compromise, along with the love.

EMAIL: lois@desnews.com, Twitter: Loisco