Why not have a guy like this in Washington, D.C.? We could call him "Captain Common Sense." ( I hope I’m not the first person to come up with this name. My apologies to the real Captain Common Sense people out there, wherever they are.) When our fearless leaders are risking everything to protect their political parties, Captain Common Sense could swoop in from the visitor galleries and stand square in front of the group and demand they be reasonable. When one side is ready to bully the other side and pass really dumb legislation, he could show up in the speaker’s office and stop him or her from leaving. He could put them in a timeout until they realized what they were about to do.
Now, I know what you are thinking. Members of Congress can be far more dangerous than drug dealers. And it’s true they can be much more turf-oriented, but if our new superhero was successful just once or twice, they’d have to pay attention to him because he would be so popular the American people — who all live in Ohio and Florida, by the way — would just have to do what he said. Who knows, maybe Congress would all just go home.
And what if Captain Common Sense won the backing of Ohio and Florida, prompting the big corporations and rich people to send their money to him instead of the candidates? I’ll bet you could buy three or four supernatural powers with the money spent on just one election.
It may seem pathetic that I am willing to create this delusional scenario where one idealistic person would turn around Washington, D.C., but think about the way we’ve been acting during this election on both sides of the isle. Just open your minds to this idea. For those of you who are feeling like all is lost for the next four years, this could give you hope. And for the gleeful on the other side of the fence, you have nothing to fear of common sense, right?
I hope the people in Ohio and Florida make up their minds and do something that will really benefit this country.
Someone fire up the Batlight. Captain Common Sense, where are you?
Steve Eaton lives and works in Logan, Utah. He can be reached at Eatonnews@gmail.com
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