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Tip for living: 'Together Forever…Just Not Now'

By Rosemarie Howard

For the Deseret News

Published: Monday, Nov. 5 2012 5:23 p.m. MST

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that marriage performed in the temple is eternal — that families will be reunited after death, based on their obedience to God’s laws.

Even with this knowledge, losing a beloved husband or wife is difficult. Questions often arise when the surviving spouse chooses to remarry in a temple ceremony “for time only.”

In his book “Together Forever…Just Not Now: Losing a Loved One, Coping and Moving On” (Brigham Distributing, $15), J. Randolph Ayre shares his experience of losing his first wife to cancer, his grieving process, moving forward, and eventually remarrying — in the temple for time only.

Along with his own story, he shares experiences and suggestions gathered from personal friends who are members of the LDS Church.

These are a few of the many tips he offers:

Prepare ahead; put your financial and personal affairs in order. Make a will; talk about and document how the surviving spouse will deal with financial matters.

Family and friends can be there to support you, but you must face the grieving process and move through it in your own way and time. Prayer, scripture study, time and temple attendance are anchors in this process.

Choosing to date and remarry is a very personal, individual decision. Consider your children as you make these decisions.

Consider the health, financial situation, vacation habits, church commitments, age and shared interests of a prospective mate. A prenuptial agreement is advisable.

If the second marriage is for time only, trust that “Heavenly Father will have a plan where we can remain always in love.”

The author and his wife, Else-Marie, live in Salt Lake City. They have served as missionaries for the LDS Church in Eastern Europe, the Philippines, Chile and Hawaii. Together they have eight children and 25 grandchildren.

Rosemarie Howard lives in a 100-year-old house on Main Street, Springville. She enjoys creating multimedia projects. Her website is at dramaticdimensions.com.

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