Ask Angela: He said 'I love you'; it's been 5 days

Published: Saturday, Oct. 13 2012 5:00 a.m. MDT

Angela Trusty tackles a young single woman's question about a guy telling her he loves her after only dating a few days.

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Dear Angela,

This guy I've been dating told me that he loves me after five days. He keeps making comments about marriage and what we're going to do in the future. I guess it's cool, who doesn't like hearing that someone loves them? But, I just want to see if it's normal behavior or if I should feel uncomfortable about it?

— EasyToLove

Dear EasyToLove,

No, it is not normal behavior, and yes, you can still maybe, possibly feel comfortable about it. You have to take inventory of how you feel, but in general, I think saying I love you that fast ignores all rules of social etiquette (which some people may find endearing and honest), but I think it's not good and a little crazy.

Take a clue from the movies: Even if they are going to say "I love you!" spontaneously and fast, it almost always happens at a baseball game after she has accidentally spilled mustard on her nose. Were you at a baseball game? Did you have mustard on your nose? If not, then I think it’s fair to have your eyebrow raised on this one.

When someone says "I love you," they want the other person to believe them, and saying it too fast can really damage that. I had a roommate tell me that this guy took her on a second date and at the end of the date he kissed her, said 'I love you" and then angrily told her to be quiet (see note below) all in the span of three minutes. Can you imagine? And it's all because she questioned his "I love you." If the dude had waited … things might not have gone down like that. Well, maybe. There were other problems … but still.

So in short, pay attention to how you feel if he says it again. Don't force yourself to feel uncomfortable just because saying I love you that fast isn't the norm, but if you do feel uncomfortable, pay attention to those feelings and say something. Oh, and most definitely halt the marriage talk, it’s without a doubt too soon for that.

Xoxo,

Angela

Note: He actually said something else besides be quiet, but I don’t use those words. :)

Reader questions: Do you think EasyToLove should be concerned? What has been your experience with this type of situation? Once you feel it, how long should you wait to say it? Should you wait at all? Share in the comments section!

Write to Angela Trusty at askangela.dn@gmail.com and join the conversation by liking us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/askangelaslc. Twitter: angelatrusty

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