Ask Angela: When a woman's male best friend has a girlfriend
My good friend’s girlfriend doesn’t want him hanging out with me because she’s jealous. So he doesn’t. What kind of friend is that? Should I just cut ties with him?
— Kind of Hurt
Dear Kind of Hurt,
This is exactly why having and keeping MBFFs (Male Best Friends Forever) is almost impossible. Their JGFs (Jealous Girlfriends) always get weird.
Technically, I should ask for more information. Like, do you have any romantic feelings for this guy? Does he have any romantic feelings for you? What is your relationship history with him? Does she have a reason to be jealous? Of what exactly is she jealous?
But if he's already decided not to see you, then your energy is better spent on improving your current relationships and developing new ones. He can worry about explaining or not explaining how he feels about you to the JGF.
As far as "cutting ties" goes, that course of action can have such finality to it and feel really unnatural. You may also start to feel bitter and angry — which feelings will only harm yourself. So don't cut ties, just shift your focus. But remember how this feels, so in the future if you're in the same situation, be the one who values the friendship enough to make it work even though your circumstances have changed.
Reader questions: Is it possible for girls and guys to be close friends when one of them is in a relationship? If so, how is that accomplished?
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