Otherwise, I'll just stay in this seemingly endless yo-yo cycle that has me fluctuating anywhere from the 190s to the 300s and feeling like the world's biggest success story one day and the world's biggest failure months later.
Trust me. That isn't exactly a joyride.
Trust me on another point: I'm not giving up.
I didn't quit during my Ironman even when it seemed I could no longer budge, and I won't now. As the Japanese saying goes, "Fall seven times, stand up eight."
This time, I asked God for help while I was on my knees on the way up.
I have no doubt that the series of events that have happened since my humiliating fall left me at the lowest of lows have been divinely guided.
It started with a friend convincing me to watch the inspiring documentary "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" about an overweight Australian who had amazing results from downing only juiced fruits and vegetables.
Two days later, I channeled my inner-hippie, bought a juicer and boatload of fruits and veggies, and embarked on a 10-day juice fast.
Extreme? Probably, but I desperately needed to do something to get my mind and heart focused on becoming healthy.
But I didn't just glug down juiced kale and apples. While scouring the Internet for inspiration — and long-term solutions that included solid food — I found myself admiring the words and works of a motivating man named Bill Phillips, the author of New York Times bestseller "Body For Life."
In mid-June, I decided to do his 12-week summer challenge. I committed to lift weights, which I've mostly avoided. I also checked out his three books from a Salt Lake County library.
This is when fate really kicked in.
Three days later, I ended up in his Colorado gym enrolled in something called "Transformation Camp."
A late cancellation opened up a spot, and I responded to Bill's Facebook announcement on a whim, asking if I could write about my experience. An hour later, I was on the phone with one of his employees who'd called.
Bill was throwing me a lifeline.
Euphoric and eager for change, I reached out and grabbed it tight.
The weekend was exhilarating and enlightening.
For the first time in a long while, I had hope. It was like the life switch inside of me had been turned on again.
It sunk in deep that changing the outside of my body can't happen — for good — without dealing with inside issues. I was encouraged to delve into important reasons why becoming fit is so important, and to make tangible goals.
We were given a crash course on eating the right nutrition at the right times — namely good proteins (lean meats), carbohydrates (whole grains), and fruits and veggies, six times a day.
We were shown how to exercise smarter and surprisingly shorter than many might imagine for impressive results.
Emphasis was placed on things like having and expressing gratitude, being altruistic, getting and giving support in a community, having a good, positive mindset, and taking proper care of our bodies so we can accomplish our dreams and life callings.
I came away inspired, committed to doing the work, and desiring to be a better father, a better husband, a better person — and a much thinner and fitter one, too.
Which brings me to one particular highlight of this experience.
Bill, whose plan is outlined in his book and at Transformation.com, asked several people to share weight-loss goals for our 12-week coached journey. My lofty number: 50 pounds.
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