Why would "Ty Perry" come up in tithing settlement? Is there such a thing as "Slow Sunday"? And why pray for the "righteous in Denver"?
Mormon Times readers — particularly their children and fellow ward members — continue to make us laugh. Several years ago, we asked our readers to share humorous accounts with us, and they delivered some good clean fun. You can read our past stories here and here.
And the stories just kept coming in.
So here is the third installment of humorous stories from Mormon Times readers. If you have your own story to contribute, you can share it on our Facebook page, or just post it in the comments below.
We went in with our family for our annual tithing settlement. We have a 12-year-old daughter, and 10-year-old and 7-year-old sons. Our bishop talked to us all about what tithing settlement is and why we do it. Our 7-year-old, Tyler, went up to the bishop’s desk first and got his paper showing he paid 50 cents this year. The bishop asked, “Tyler, are you a full tithe payer?” Tyler smiled and giggled and said, “Yes.” The bishop proceeded and asked our 10-year-old, Davin, the same thing, to which he responded, “Yes.” As Davin sat down, Tyler turned to my husband, Scott, and asked, “What is Ty Perry, anyway?” We all busted up laughing. It’s all in the listening, isn’t it?
— Carin Price, McKinney, Texas
Kendall is 5 years old and has been struggling with being sad at school. He came home recently and told his mother that he had cried at school that day. When his mother asked why, he told her his teacher was giving the class tattoos and he told his teacher that he couldn’t have one. His mother explained that they were just temporary and it would probably have been OK if he got one. He told her he knew that, but his teacher said he would have to take it off with alcohol — and he knew he wasn’t supposed to touch that! How cute is that?
— Cindy Gifford, Riverside, Calif.
It was around 1970. I had a little photo studio in the Alberta town of Wetaskiwin. As a normal part of my business, I photographed weddings, and these took place in a variety of churches. In the process I got to know the pastors quite well. Among them, one of my best friends was the pastor of the United Church. We often bumped into one another at local social functions as well as in his church, and he was well aware of my adherence to the Word of Wisdom. To my delight, on one occasion he said to me, “I decided to give up drinking coffee.” I was thrilled that he was about to receive the blessings of the Lord’s law of health. Then he said, “but I decided I couldn’t get it down any other way!”
— Dave Birley, Rock Hill, S.C.
My nephew wrote in a letter: We had our fathers-and-sons outing Friday night and I got stuck being in charge of supper, which shows total desperation on the part of our bishopric. I drafted good help and we got it all cooked and ready to serve. Our bishop has a 4-year-old son who is a real firecracker and hard to control. The bishop gathered everyone around the food, gave a welcome and called on a good brother to give a blessing on the food. Just as the prayer was beginning, the bishop’s little son yelled out, “Don’t pray a long prayer because I’m hungry.”
— Berneice Neeley, Salt Lake City
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