Rock on . . . touching all the bases

High stakes

The wagering is on between Super Bowl mayors.

New York's Rudy Giuliani has bet two tickets to a Broadway show, a copy of the Encyclopedia of New York, a sampling from Fulton Fish Market, a case of New York City tap water and a case of Brooklyn lager beer on the Giants.

Baltimore mayor Martin O'Malley is putting up a bushel of crabs, a dozen Baltimore Berger cookies and items to be named later. (This is, after all, a sports transaction.)

Wait a minute. Back up.

New York City tap water?

Don't you just hate when the big shots get all the perks?

Additional incentive

While you're at it, Rudy, why don't you toss in a jar of sludge from the East River and maybe a bag of those used hypodermic needles.

On alert

A reader sent along a note, urging me to notify the Jazz that HAKEEM OLAJUWON WANTS TO BE TRADED and could perhaps even be acquired for a bargain-basement price!

Note to the Jazz: Consider yourself notified.

For some crazy reason, I figure if the Jazz found Andrei Kirilenko in Russia, and years before, Allan Bannister in England, they'll know Hakeem's available.

But it's only a hunch.

Jumping the gun

I don't know if anyone was paying attention last week, but Houston coach Rudy Tomjanovich said the Jazz have a legitimate shot at a championship.

Nice sentiment, really.

I'm assuming that was before he saw the videotape of the Jazz-Minnesota game.

Upon further review

Nasty scene back in South Bend Sunday.

West Virginia center Chris Moss spit on a female Notre Dame cheerleader. He had to be pulled from the court by coaches after fouling out.

Don't tell me, let me guess: The coach is "going to have to look at the film" before he decides on a punishment.

But I get up again