Remember when the only time you had to worry about being sequestered was if you were called to jury duty?
Given the amount of official hysteria flying around Washington last week and the relative calm that followed, it's hard to remember. Was sequestration put in place by the White House and Congress, or was it on the Mayan calendar?
White House strategists came up with an ingenious way to divert attention from the upcoming sequester last week: Attack Bob Woodward.
Woodward quickly learned that, while the administration may not have the wherewithal to send an aircraft carrier into the Persian Gulf, as he had noted, it had plenty of wherewithal to attack a nosy journalist who would point this out.
Woodward said he got an email from a high-ranking administration official saying Woodward would regret writing that the president had misstated the origins of the sequester. So, who's regretful now?
The old rule was to never pick a fight with someone who buys ink by the barrel. Has anyone calculated how many barrels it takes to go viral?
Meanwhile, someone should monitor Richard Nixon's grave for seismic activity as Bob Woodward suddenly has become the darling of the Republican Party.
Dennis Rodman, the flamboyant NBA Hall of Famer known for coloring his hair before games and putting on wedding dresses, became the highest profile American to visit North Korea under new leader Kim Jong Un last week. We might as well deal with Kim on a level he can understand.
Rodman reportedly told Kim, "You have a friend for life." That's OK. He said the same thing to Madonna once.
Nixon used what became known as ping-pong diplomacy to forge new relationships with China. Rodman's visit to North Korea may be described as ding-dong diplomacy
The Utah Legislature is looking at ways to keep wild turkeys from overrunning rural neighborhoods. Only in Utah could you talk at length about wild turkey and actually mean a wild turkey.
For years, Utah wildlife officials have imported turkeys from other states in order to boost the state's wild turkey population. Just think if government was this successful in importing jobs.
Being overrun by new workers would no doubt pose some unique problems, as well. But, unlike wild turkeys, at least they use bathrooms.
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.