Frank Pignanelli & LaVarr Webb: What politicos are saying and what they really mean

All legislators: "After serious deliberation, I have concluded that we need to maintain the caucus convention delegate system for candidate nominations." (I waited and waited for a serious effort to change this ridiculous process but nothing happened. It's too late to do anything for 2014, and there's no way I'm going to tick off my delegates.)

Visiting members of Utah's congressional delegation: "I always enjoy the opportunity to talk with my friends in the Legislature, our respected partners in the federal system." (I hate coming to the Capitol to talk to these minor politicians. All I get is a bunch of whining about the federal government and questions about what I'm doing to solve the problems.)

Veteran senators: "Dr. Brian Shiozawa is a kind, decent person who will bring a much needed fresh perspective to the Senate." (It won't take long before the good doctor becomes as jaded and cynical as the rest of us.)

Veteran lobbyists: "We prefer to conduct our business out of the limelight and only visit with lawmakers when truly necessary." (We pretty much hang out all day sipping Diet Coke in the cushy lobbyist lounge.)

Political reporters: "This Legislature has adopted a more moderate, reasonable tone." (Boring! We need to dig up some "message" bills that make these guys look foolish.)

Education groups: "We deeply appreciate what the governor is doing for education." (We didn't hear the words "tax increase" in his proposal, and we'll never be happy until that happens.)

Clean air advocates: "Our leaders must take bold action to clean up Utah's air." (Don't ask me to take public transit or turn off my lights. Someone else needs to sacrifice.)

Tea party activists: "Yes, some of our members got beat thanks to the big turnout at 2012 caucuses." (In the low-key election in 2014 we're going to make a comeback and regain control of Utah politics.)

lwebb@exoro.com. Democrat Frank Pignanelli is a Salt Lake attorney, lobbyist and political adviser. Pignanelli served 10 years in the Utah House of Representatives, six years as minority leader. His spouse, D'Arcy Dixon Pignanelli, is a state tax commissioner. Email: frankp@xmission.com.