Because Bixby and Peyer got together just a few years ago, they didn't have to hammer out a compromise on the children. Her children from a previous marriage are being raised Lutheran; his don't go to church. But these tools — communication, humor and compassion — help them work through their differences on other aspects of faith. And it's work they're grateful for.
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Our take: In the past, when people entered into a relationships where faith was divided, one partner would usually make a change whichever person had the stronger conviction would set the terms. But these days, couples are redrawing the lines.
Maria Peyer and Mike Bixby are one of those couples who just seem made for each other. They hold hands when they sit and talk. They're happy to spend the morning cooking brunch with their children in their home in southern Washington.Bixby and Peyer have known each other since they were young, but got married only a few years ago.
"It just hadn't been the right time, until it was. God bless Facebook," says Peyer.
"She Facebooked me, and asked if I remembered her, and then it just went from there," Bixby says.
But there's one big issue where they do not see eye-to-eye. Peyer is Lutheran. Her father, grandfather and great-grandfather were all pastors. She's an assisting minister. Bixby is an atheist.
"I do not believe that there is any sort of a higher power. I've made several attempts to go back and have faith, and it just doesn't work," he says. "It's not an open question for me anymore."
"I would really like it if he could feel God's love the way I do. And it's one of those very few places where I feel like I can say, 'I hear you, I understand what you're saying, I love you and I think that there may be more to it,'" Peyer says.
Read more about Making marriage work when only one spouse believes in God on NPR.
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I'm a non-believer and my wife is an ex-Mormon. We go to church together and we also go to Zen meditation centers together. It works. We respect each others. Love is stronger than any faith ... in the early days our faiths almost ruined us. Love More..
Agreed. My spouse is Mormon and I consider myself Agnostic. Yet we get along and we respect each others beliefs. I sometimes attend church meetings with him to be supportive.
So it can work. Maybe not for everyone, but it can work.
I have been married to a faithful, temple-attending LDS woman for over 25 years. It has never been a problem for her or me, but it has been a problem for so many Ward members and missionaries. They just can't seem to swallow the idea that we More..