Funny with a chance of chuckles — Mormon Times readers share humorous stories

Published: Wednesday, Jan. 9 2013 5:00 a.m. MST

Years ago while I was serving as a young elder, I was fortunate to serve in the mission home during Christmastime. At that time, we had a tradition where on Christmas Eve we would exchange white elephant gifts. These were gifts like shoes with holes in them, ties that were worn out or anything else of no worth. On Christmas Eve, we would wrap our gifts and place them in a pile in the middle of the floor. Each missionary would then select one of the gifts from the pile and after we would vote on the most white elephant gift of all.

One of the elders was very much in love and planning on getting married as soon as he returned home. He kept a picture of his girlfriend next to his bed all the time. On the way to the exchange party, we took his girlfriend's picture without him knowing it and wrapped it up and placed it in the circle. When one of the missionaries unwrapped his girlfriend's picture, we all said that he must have received a Dear John. One elder who was going home soon offered to look her up and keep her company. This gift won the prize for the most white elephant gift.

The elder did not think it was funny at all. They were married soon after he returned home and after 40 years, they were still happily married.

— Jack Airmet, American Fork

Pre-school Frankie sat at the kitchen table drawing a picture. "What are you drawing?" asked his mom. "I'm drawing a picture of God," replied Frankie. She hugged him and sighed, "But, Frankie, no one knows what God looks like."

He grinned and replied, "'When I've finished the picture they will know!"

Having recently been held in God's loving arms, isn't a tender and impressionable little boy one of the most likely humans to still sense his appearance and his infinite love and concern?

— Ralph A. Olsen, Bozeman, Mont.

My brother Jay, then 13, was in Sunday School when the teacher was giving a lesson on Book of Mormon migrations. She said that one group landed in South America and migrated to North America. Jay loved to tease and he asked her, "How did they get across the Panama Canal?"

She replied, "Oh, they knew how to build boats."

— Dale B. Brimley

At Christmastime we listen to, well, carols. One carol in particular makes me laugh as my 4-year-old sings it and tries to make sense of the old English it uses. "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" ends with giving money to our bishopric — giving tithing that is. She sings "Good tithings to you, where ever you are. Good tithings for Christmas and a Happy New Year!"

— NomeDePlume, Augusta, Ga.

We were having home evening and the question was asked: Can anyone tell me what debasement means? Everyone hesitated and then our 4-year-old daughter said, "Yes, it's where we go to do the laundry."

— Tim Reder, Washington, Washington County

Our daughter was two weeks from becoming 8 years old and preparing to be baptized. We were preparing for fast Sunday when my almost 8-year-old said, "I don't have to fast as I'm not 8 years old yet."

I told her we were going to give her a head start. While sitting in sacrament meeting I received a tap on the knee. Looking down I saw her big eyes and noticed her finger tapping on a scripture from the Book of Mormon. She was pointing to a verse from King Benjamin's speech where he said, "And ye shall not suffer your little children to go hungry."

The look she had on her face was priceless.

— Tim Reder, Washington, Washington County

Our Indiana ward was quite spread out. Most members live many miles from the chapel — except for Alice and Alex. One Sunday, the person who was supposed to bring bread for the sacrament failed to do so. "No problem," Alice said, as she overheard the conversation, "I baked bread last night."

Alex was dispatched to get a few slices of the bread. The meeting proceeded as normal — until the bread was being served to the congregation. There were strange looks on most of the faces in the congregation. Unknowingly, Alex had gotten slices of jalapeño bread.

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