Tonight is the night the hard of hearing are relieved to learn theyre not going to fall off a physical cliff.
Members of Congress were scheduled to convene last night to finally save us all from the mess they created. The fiscal cliff is their version of holding their breath until they get what they want, only in this case it is the rest of the nation that could turn blue.
Remember the days when Congress had to actually do something in order to make the economy worse?
Mitt Romneys son said last week that his dad never really wanted to become president. And that $42.5 million of his own money he spent to win the Republican nomination? Well, we all waste money on frivolous things from time to time.
Randi Zuckerberg, the sister of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, threw a fit last week when a family photo she posted, intending to be for friends eyes only, was made available to the entire world, and then went viral. Perhaps the next child born to the Zuckerberg clan should be named Karma.
A Zuckerberg getting tripped up by Facebooks ever-changing privacy policies? Thats kind of like Henry T. Ford getting stuck on an assembly line, with people trying to drive rivets into his skin, or Eli Whitney getting ginned, or Bill Gates forgetting his Windows password, or Honey Boo Boos mother telling everyone to stop looking.
Zuckerberg lectured that re-posting the photo wasnt a matter of privacy, it was a matter of human decency. Thousands of concerned citizens responded with opinions of their own — few were related in any way to human decency.
The interesting thing is that the Zuckerberg photo was of family members standing around in a kitchen, fully clothed, looking at electronic devices. If thats what it takes to go viral, a lot of people should be incredibly famous.
Those who fear a Big Mac attack on Christmas Day got a break this year. McDonalds asked its franchises to stay open on the holiday. Why fuss over ham all day when you have the dollar menu available?
Whats more pathetic than a fast-food chain being open on Thanksgiving and Christmas? The fact that millions of people make it a profitable decision.
More than 100 Utah teachers took a class last week on how to carry concealed weapons at school and respond to trouble. Putting the horrible tragedy in Connecticut aside for a moment, I know my playground behavior would have been much more civil years ago if my teacher had been armed and loaded.
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.