On second thought

Published: Monday, Nov. 5 2012 7:09 a.m. MST

This image released by ABC shows Disney President and CEO Robert Iger, left, and filmmaker George Lucas of LucasFilm Ltd. at a contract signing in Burbank, Calif., Tuesday, Oct. 30, 2012. The Walt Disney Co. announced Tuesday that it was buying Lucasfilm Ltd. for $4.05 billion.

Associated Press

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Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff dropped the state's lawsuit against the BCS this week, figuring all of the state's schools had lost too many games to qualify this year, anyway.

Actually, Shurtleff claimed victory, saying the BCS had decided to adopt a four-team playoff, which is what the suit wanted to have happen. Four teams out of 125 get to play for the championship? Even the president of Iran faces more competition than that.

The nation was riveted last week by a story of epic proportions. No, not that story. The one about Disney buying Star Wars for $4 billion.

This sets up the perfect sequel to the previous six movies — one involving a trip to Pluto, which is inhabited by all those animated Disney characters looking for work, including Pluto himself.

As an intriguing plot twist, Jar Jar Binks will steal the affections of Daisy Duck away from Donald. They will marry and produce children no one can understand.

Princess Leia will return, only she will discover that her legs turn into fins whenever she gets wet and that Darth Vader sounds a lot like a sea witch.

Actually, the nation is clamoring for a seventh Star Wars movie about as much as it's clamoring for more political television ads.

As Election Day approaches, the two presidential candidates finally found something on which to agree. They both oppose hurricane Sandy.

They do differ as to how to prevent future hurricanes, however. President Obama would form an agency to regulate the wind, while Mitt Romney would make it easier for venture capitalists to fund competing winds in the opposite direction.

Ever wonder what happened to those kids you knew in school who would sleep through every class? They're probably bus drivers in Washington.

A study using special cameras found 68 separate instances where Metro bus drivers were seen nodding off behind the wheel. Passengers, on the other hand, were extremely wide awake.

Perhaps instead of cameras, the Metro system should install electric prods that kick in when they detect snoring.

Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.

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