On second thought

Some names were conspicuously absent at the Democratic National Convention, such as Simpson, Bowles, Standard and Poor's.

That's not quite true. Vice President Joe Biden mentioned Simpson and Bowles, then blamed Republicans for not embracing their commission report. He was speaking through a remote camera in Bizarro Land.

Isn't it amazing how both Michelle Obama and Ann Romney lived in primitive log cabins with their husbands when they were first married?

Democrats made it clear that they support gay marriage, which they call "marrying whoever you love" and abortion, which they call "controlling your own body," and that they oppose the $16 trillion national debt, which they have decided not to call anything at all.

On Wednesday, former President Clinton gave a rousing speech that had the crowd chanting, "Four more years!" The only trouble is, the Constitution won't allow Clinton to serve four more years.

The threat of rain forced President Obama to take his speech indoors. That's too bad. Organizers had hoped that, with him speaking in a football stadium, channel-surfing viewers might have thought they had stumbled onto halftime of an NFL game.

Shortly after the convention, the Obama administration found a new strategy for lowering the unemployment rate. Just get unemployed people to stop looking for work.

A new jobs report found the unemployment rate dropped because more people gave up looking. That led the Federal Reserve Board to conclude that, because its previous attempts to stimulate the economy have failed, it may be time to stimulate the economy.

Apparently, it's peak season in Bizarro Land.

Meanwhile, an arbitration panel decided that, with incompetent replacement referees roaming the field, it might be interesting to reinstate the players accused of trying to hurt opposing players for cash rewards, then see what happens.

I won't say football players are becoming more political, but after a recent devastating hit, a linebacker was heard asking the quarterback, "Are you better off than you were four seconds ago?"

Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.