It's true, history repeats itself. Welcome back to the age of prohibition! Only this time, the demon drink government wants to outlaw is the large soda.
New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg wants to outlaw the sale of any sugary fountain drink larger than 16 ounces within city limits. You know what this means. Al Capone will be selling bootleg Big Gulps to underground clubs called "burp-easies".
A pair of eyes will suddenly appear through a slit in the door.
If this trend ever hit Utah, convenience stores would go out of business.
Seriously, what does it say about a nation when two of the biggest cultural movements would a) make it OK to sell and smoke marijuana and b) make it illegal to sell soda pop?
You get the feeling Mitt Romney wouldn't mind having Donald Trump tell him he's fired, so long as he remembered to send a nice severance check.
Romney was in the awkward position of appearing with Trump last week and accepting his support, just before Trump erupted with nonsense about President Obama's birth certificate. We've all been there — playing nice and hoping for a birthday gift from a crazy uncle with big hair and billions of dollars. Well, maybe not.
Julian Assange learned last week that he can tell secrets about everyone else but he can't keep his own secrets from the long arm of the law.
A British court ruled that Assange, owner of wikileaks.org, should be extradited to Sweden to face allegations of sex crimes. Assange claims whatever he did in Sweden was consensual, and he won't get a fair trial there. Ah yes, Sweden, that repressive country with strict moral codes.
Travel and Leisure Magazine last week ranked Salt Lake City as the second worst-dressed city in the nation. Judging by what I see when I travel, this means we're one spot away from winning and need to try a little harder.
In an age when you can spend big bucks for designer jeans with readymade holes in them, isn't a worst-dressed poll kind of like a pretty face competition among pug dogs?
I mean, shouldn't you organize a contest around something people actually seem to care about winning, like the most 16-ounce sodas consumed per capita?
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.