Living the Golden Rule is a good standard for public civility

Can civility be saved?

This has become the question du jour among scholars, journalists and others who fret about such things at dozens of programs popping up around the country. As a nation, we seem to want to be a more civil society, which is laudable if, quite possibly, unlikely.

Inevitably, discussions about the current state of civility begin with disclaimers and acknowledgement that Americans have always been a bunch of rowdies and rascals. Previous eras have made current incivility look like a (real) tea party that erupts into a food fight of crumpets and scones.

A perennial favorite was the caning administered by South Carolina Rep. Preston Brooks upon the person of Massachusetts Sen. Charles Sumner over a disagreement about slavery and a question of honor. And, of course, there was that episode known as the Civil War.

Are we less civil today than in the past? Not really, though thanks to the pervasiveness of media, it seems that way. And, thanks to the general coarsening of the culture amid the breakdown of traditional institutions, not to mention families, rules of decorum have suffered.

Even the imperative to improve the tone of our interactions is a constant through history. Sometime around age 16, George Washington transcribed a slim volume called "Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation," which covered everything from when and how to spit to how to speak in public. The 58th rule reads:

"Let your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for 'tis a Sign of a Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion admit Reason to Govern."

Ahem, yes, well, tell that to a certain congressman from South Carolina. We should all write Joe "You lie!" Wilson a thank-you note for creating a contemporary standard by which to judge public expressions of incivility. We might also stamp a letter to the congresswoman from California, Maxine Waters, who recently described House Republican leaders as "demons."

Like so many things, civility is in the perception of the beholder, but we at least can agree on a definition. Civility is courtesy in behavior and speech, otherwise known as manners. In the context of the public square, civility is manners for democracy.

Unquestionably, our manners have deteriorated since Washington's time, increasingly so in recent years. Manners have become quaint, while behaviors once associated with rougher segments of society have become mainstream.