Home alone experience proved traumatic and smelly

At our house we all share in the chores. My wife, Barbara, is never, ever expected to do any more than her fair share.

Well, sometimes she does more than her fair share, but she can take comfort in knowing that we understand what we call "the principle."

"The principle" is that to be a strong and happy family we must work — when we have time to do so — as a team.

I remembered a time, years ago, when Barbara left her supportive team behind and went out of town to go skiing with her parents. She left expecting that we would give our all each day to the accomplishment of many small and great chores she detailed out for us in longhand as we drove to the airport.

I didn't remember most of the advice she offered and I lost the instructions as soon as I got home. I did remember a few key things like don't spray Lysol on the plants and always use one kind of laundry detergent on colored bleaches or something like that.

Frankly, I didn't need her advice. At the time I was a professional who worked in a tall building in downtown Seattle. I was someone who knew how to draft strategic plans, create action steps and hold meetings to accomplish things. I knew that I could come up with a better approach. I created a multicolored Excel spreadsheet that divided up the important household chores. It was a practical plan and yet one that was beautiful to behold and contemplate.

The plan really only required us to work for the first few days and then, unless someone ate something, we'd be done. In fact, I envisioned the family playing miniature golf and going to the movies on school nights before our week was up.

Everything went according to plan until we hit the first day. That was when we realized that none of us actually wanted to do our assigned chores that day. This complicated the second day because the first day's chores were undone.

On Thursday, I was troubled when I saw some food from Monday making its way across the dining room table on its own power. I realized that it was time to take action. So, I drafted a mission statement.

"Our aim is to dialogue and synergize in win-win approaches that will allow us to proactively channel our transforming energies into household outcomes that will help us win pleasure and avoid pain when Mom returns."

I read the mission statement and sought buy-in from my children. Unfortunately, no one did the dishes. We had to buy clean ones.