Column on wife's absence brings unexpected reaction

After 10 years of writing a column for the business pages of the Deseret News, I thought I knew when something I wrote had the potential to be a bit controversial.

It's not that I usually delve into touchy topics — other than the great necktie debate, of course. But there have been a couple of times when I knew what I was writing might draw a negative reaction. In such instances, I prepared for the worst and usually was pleasantly surprised by the measured tone of the responses, even when people disagreed with me.

And then there was last week's piece.

In that column, I talked about a trip my wife and oldest daughter were about to take to Texas. I shared my fears about being a single parent to my three younger children for a few days and talked about how much we all would miss my outstanding wife. And then I said that, though I was nervous about the experience, I was looking forward to flexing my parenting muscles a bit.

The tone was meant to be self-deprecating and humorous. No offense was intended or, I thought, implied. Really.

Many people got that, especially if they've read my columns before.

For example, one reader wrote in an online comment: "This was fun to read. I just left my family for a few days to fare without me. They missed me!! It's validating to know that in so many cases, we moms are the 'blood and guts' of the operation, whether we do 'all that' or not! Often what we do goes unnoticed, until we don't do it! It really does feel like it takes a team to run a family. Thanks!"

Another online commenter wrote: "Dad's cooking? Ewww! Kudos from one domestically challenged dad to another. I enjoyed the column!"

Those are the kinds of responses I expected. But those aren't the only ones I received.

The first hint of trouble came in an email from a reader named Robin.

"Are you serious? Why did you have children if you couldn't do your half to raise them?" Robin wrote. She then mentioned a blogger who had taken me to task in a column online.

"The author and the readers making comments aren't too amused with your little article. ... Please stop breeding. I feel sorry for your wife and kids."

I checked out the blog, and let's just say it was far from complimentary about me and my parenting skills.