Provo is rebranding: Why wasn't I hired?

I recently took part in a focus group for Provo City's rebranding efforts. If you live in Nephi or somewhere and didn't know about this epic decision going on in Provo, please consider yourself informed. Provo's getting a new logo, y'all.

Now, when I arrived at the meeting downtown, I was a little disappointed to find the marketing agency hired to do the rebranding already designed three brands for me to choose from. The logos, taglines and graphic designs were created, waiting for my feedback. Apparently, they didn't want me to come up with my own ideas. So, staying up all night sketching blue unicorns with Y-shaped horns was a waste of my time? Yes. Yes, it was.

As the presentation started (OK, I was late. My daughter threw up on my first outfit, and the presentation had begun by the time I arrived, so this sentence should actually read, I arrived just after the presentation started ...), I settled into thinking with my creative brain. What was I observing about these logos and taglines flashing on the screen in front of me?

Option 1 was interesting. Option 2 was, hmmm, dotty? Option 3 was a blatant no-go. I settled on Option 1, unlike most of the concerned citizens around the table. They seemed to like Option 2. For the first time in my life I knew what it was like to be the one percent.

Anyway, when the meeting was over and it was obvious I was in the minority, I went home and, well, started writing this article. Just because no one asked me if I had any great ideas to "bring to the table" doesn't mean I don't have great ideas. Like ...

Provo: Like the cheese, but cheesier.

Provo: Who needs Orem?

This is not your mother's Provo.

Provo: Home of the Four Seasons — Spring, Summer, Fall, Jimmer.

Why Orem when you can Provo'em?!

Provo: Y go anywhere else?

I'm going to stop right there. I can tell by the way you are reading you don't like my ideas. I don't blame you, I spend far too much time cleaning up vomit than creating jingles these days.

I am sure we'll come up with something visionary to represent our virtuous city. We've got a smart team on the job as we speak (trust me, I've met them). However, if we can't decide as a community, and this rebranding discussion comes to a decisive stand-still, may I suggest changing our city's name to Nu Skin?

Nu Skin, Utah — So Great it Comes With Multi-Levels!

C. Jane Kendrick writes for cjanerun.com, is on facebook as C.Jane Kendrick and tweets as CJaneKendrick. She lives in Provo with her husband and three children.