Wife's absence brings fear, parenting opportunity

This is a story of fear. The kind of fear that only a working dad — or, at least, this working dad — can understand.

It started a couple of months ago, when my wife called me while I was at work. This is not unheard of, but it is a little out of the ordinary, so right away I wondered what was up. Was one of our children sick or injured? Had she been in a car accident? Did my 6-year-old son destroy something precious or valuable in our home?

She quickly set my mind at ease. No, no, nothing was wrong. She just had a question for me.

Ah. A question. Now my "Spidey Senses" were really tingling. What kind of question was urgent enough that it couldn't wait until I got home from work that evening?

She said her father had called and suggested that she and my oldest daughter fly to Houston in January to attend a high school play in which several of our nieces would be performing. He had found a great deal on some plane tickets, so the question was time-sensitive.

"What do you think?" my wife asked. "We'd leave on a Wednesday afternoon and get back the following Tuesday morning, so it's just a few days."

I hesitated. What I wanted to do is put down the phone, raise my hands to the sky and yell, "Noooooooooo!" — like they do in the movies.

This is not because I don't like spending time with my children, or because I don't think I can survive a few days as a parent without her. (Well, maybe a little of the latter.)

It's just that she's an amazing mother. She manages our home like a pro, spends hours every week as a volunteer in our kids' schools, shuttles the children to more activities than I can remember, cooks delicious meals, always takes time to listen to me talk about work and offers helpful advice and, in general, makes sure we're all in the right place at the right time. (Truthfully, we're often a little late for the "right time," but that's a subject for another column.)

All of this was going through my mind as her question hung in the air. I contemplated her potential absence, and it made me nervous.

However, to my credit (I hope), I didn't follow that first instinct.

What I said instead was, "Well, let me check my schedule. Hmmm. I've got quite a few work meetings that I can't miss on those particular days, but if you can find someone to help get the kids from school, I'm sure we can make it work."

With relief and joy in her voice, she said she would take care of the details, and my fate was sealed.