BYU, Utah Utes football: Is the rivalry getting out of hand?

As we got to the top of the stairs, I asked the boy who he was cheering for. He wasn’t more than 5 and was dressed in red from head to toe. As the boy spoke, it was the look in the mom’s eyes that made me realize just how bad things were. She was terrified about what could happen. I said to the boy, “Are your cheering for the Utes?”

“You bet,” he said, his voice full of confidence.

“Well, you better cheer hard because I’m going to be cheering for the Cougars.” I smiled at him. “Who’s going to win?” I asked.

“We are,” he replied. I smiled and gave him a high five and told him to cheer his best.

As we turned away, the mother mouthed the words, “thank you” to us. She smiled back and they headed to their seats. I still remember the look that she gave me when I started to talk to her son — a mother's concern about her kids. It worries me that some have taken the rivalry to a point that parents are leaving their kids home, fearful of what they might see or hear.

A friend, Tony Brown, took it upon himself to start a grass-roots campaign at BYU to get fans to wear blue to BYU home games. We have had many conversations about this rivalry, and I like what he had to say.

“It's funny that so many fans feel like everyone hates each other. Remember back in ’98 when BYU basketball was struggling to win 10 games in two years? I was finishing up my degree at BYU. Andre Miller had his Utah team in the national championship game. I was walking around campus at the time, and every TV set I came across had the game on. I found myself, like all the other students there, cheering for the Utes to beat Kentucky.”

He continues, “No one that I knew at the time felt anything was wrong about this. And I’ve found myself doing the same thing in big games the Utes have played in, 2004’s Fiesta Bowl and 2008’s Sugar. I think many a Utah fan does the same for BYU.”

He added, “I think the perception is that most Utah fans do not like BYU and that most BYU fans do not like Utah. The reality is that I think the majority of fans on both sides do not have the angst and hatred that some believe. I believe there are fans on both sides (perhaps 10 percent from BYU and Utah) that fit the stereotypes placed on them, and unfortunately for everyone else, these fans have the loudest voice and are the most disrespectful, giving the rest of us a bad rap.”

I feel similarly to Tony. I think most fans are like my neighbors, they love the U. or the Y. They would like nothing better than to see a great game that their team wins. They are quite happy to talk about the game over the fence with each other. They are quick to say, “Go Cougs” or “Go Utes” and have a good time teasing one another.

Now things are going to change. This is the first game in a new era. I don’t have to remind anyone on either side that these universities are no longer in the same conference. And everyone that has a calendar knows this game will now come much earlier in the season than it has in the past.

I’m quite certain that the passion will continue, but let's hope that the bad blood will pass. I don’t doubt that most of the disrespect comes from a small vocal minority. This is how it is, it comes from both sides and will continue regardless of the score or the program.

Each side has been embarrassed both by the other school's fans and their own. Sometimes our own are the worst. We have all done things we are not proud of and will continue to do the same in the future. However, it's my belief that we can do better and forgive those things we see that we know are wrong.

A couple months ago, I watched the movie "Invictus." The movie is based on true events surrounding South Africa’s election of Nelson Mandela. Mandela had just been freed from 27 years of incarceration. He had spent most of his time in South Africa’s famous Robben Island Prison. His cell was the size of most walk-in closets. Convicted in 1962 of sabotage, he used his presidency to heal a country rather than inflict punishment on those people whose power his party had worked so hard to bring down.