Children teach volumes with youthful sayings

When my first daughter was born, I started making a journal for her of all the milestones, hilarious sayings and memorable moments of her life. I was pretty proud of myself and started clearing a spot on my shelf for my inevitable Mother-of-the-Year Award.

Enter Baby No. 2. I am now nine months behind on scrapbooking and journaling of any kind. She’s alive, though, so I'm still keeping that shelf space open.

So this week I’ve been updating my journals for both girls, and I’ve loved remembering the hilariously insightful comments that my older daughter, Nicole, makes. I’ve realized just how much she has taught me in the four short years of her life.

She has taught me about:

• Religion: My daughter has taught me a lot about spirituality by her mere existence. But she also makes me see God and religion in new ways, like when she told me she couldn’t see me when she was in my tummy, but she could hear me and she talked to Jesus. She has also asked me multiple times if we could send an email to God to say thank you for our blessings. And once, after a discussion of where God lives, she replied, “Wait, I thought God lives on top of the house and Jesus lives in Utah.”

• Bargaining: I’ve learned not to try to outsmart my daughter. For example, when she was 3 and I was hugely pregnant and exhausted, she asked me if I would read her a book. I told her I was feeling too sick to read, but maybe she could read it to herself. I then picked up her magical fairy wand and said, “Bippity-boppity-boo, you can read!” She gave me a “nice try” look, raised the wand and said, “Bippity-boppity-boo, you’re not sick.” I read her the book.

• Priorities: I’m convinced there is no better gauge for what is important in life than a 4-year-old. When I’m paying too much attention to my computer, my work or the TV, my daughter will quickly remind that “people are more important than things." And when LDS general conference started this spring, she rushed from the kitchen, almost knocking over her sister and father on the way. “Dad, out of my way,” she said. “The prophet is speaking!”

But of all the enlightening moments I’ve shared with my daughter, one stands out to me as a bittersweet memory. It was an unremarkable day driving home after a shopping trip. Nicole buckled her own carseat by herself and I said, “Oh, my girls are growing up. Soon you’ll be big and you’ll move away and leave me all alone.”

It was a throw-away comment to me, just something I said to be silly. But moments later I looked back at Nicole and saw huge tears rolling down her face. She broke into sobs, exclaiming, “I don’t want to grow up. I want to stay small forever and be with you.”

Break. My. Heart.

If only she knew how much I want that too. But of all the things I’ve learned from my little ones, perhaps the biggest lesson is that letting go of a child is what a mother’s love is all about.

I’d love to hold my babies close and never let them go. But I can’t. I won’t. I love them too much for that. I just hope when that day comes and they face the world on their own, I will have taught them at least half as much as they’ve taught me.

Erin Stewart is a regular blogger for Deseret News. From stretch marks to the latest news for moms, Stewart discusses it all while her 4-year-old daughter crams Mr. Potato Head pieces in her little sister's nose.