A dating book for guys and girls

Girls dig it when guys offer them compliments, open doors and show respect.

Guys appreciate it when girls dress modestly and speak honestly.

These are among several topics examined in a uniquely formatted, two-part book titled, “What Girls Need to Know About Guys; What Guys Need to Know About Girls” (Deseret Book, $14.99).

It’s like two books in one. Roughly half of the book focuses on how young men can honor young women, then flip the book over and the other half enlightens young ladies about the divine role of womanhood and the inner workings of the male gender. The whole book is full of helpful hints, tips, warnings and great spiritual advice to help teens figure out the opposite sex.

“Guys and girls are both amazing,” said John Hilton III, one of the authors. “When we learn a few simple things about ourselves and the opposite gender, it can really help our relationships.”

The book is co-authored by Hilton and his wife, Lani, who have been married for more than a decade and have children. John, a graduate of BYU and Harvard, is an author and speaker who taught LDS seminary and institute. Lani is also a BYU graduate with perspective and experience to offer on the topic.

Over the years, the Hiltons have been invited to speak to numerous youth groups about topics related to gender roles and dating. In the process, some common themes have emerged.

“We witnessed how much the young people appreciated these discussions. They needed and accepted the message,” Lani said. “Once we saw how much they were taking it in, we thought we needed to have a wider audience and be able to reach more guys and girls.”

So the Hiltons started working on a book. For five years they developed ideas and principles that resonate with youths, recalled their own experiences, talked one-on-one with countless teenagers and wrote a manuscript that was easy to follow, full of balanced information and not too lengthy. The book also includes a dating mad lib and a centerpiece game, “Steps and Slides,” for a possible mutual night activity.

“It was a fun book to research and write. It’s a broad topic that could have gone in many different directions, but we tried to focus on the most important things to know about each gender,” Lani said.

John credits his wife for kick-starting the project. “Some of the main principles (in the book) are ones she emphasized in her talks with youth. She is really the genesis behind the ideas we had,” John said.