Setting records, sharing hope at Time Out for Women

Published: Tuesday, Nov. 23 2010 5:30 a.m. MST

At family meetings, they would write down things they would do, like goals or deciding in advance what to do if confronted with a situation, Pothier said.

"Give them ownership of conflicts," Eyre said. They had a repentance bench. So when two of their children fought, they had to sit on the bench until they figured out what they did wrong, tell their parents, apologize and hug.

Fourth, formalize family traditions.

One of the Eyre's daughters had a summertime birthday and they were usually at Bear Lake, so they would float her birthday cake. And wherever it's been, whether in a monument pool in Washington, D.C., or just cupcakes in the sink, they've floated her cake.

Also, they would have family testimony meetings on Sundays after church, Eyre said.

Fifth, teach them to work.

Teach them specific tasks, Pothier said. Then when they have learned that one, she gives them a certificate saying they are certified and can train others.

It takes three P's: print, patience and persistence.

"It was exhilarating that someone changed the toilet paper roll or a light bulb," Eyre said. "Sometimes you just have to live in chaos."

But don't forget to step back and enjoy the moment.

"Your trenches are customized and expressly for you," Eyre added.


Grace and the Atonement

"What Mormon woman has mediocrity as a goal?" asked Brad Wilcox, an associate professor at BYU, as he explored grace and the Atonement during Time Out for Women.

"Grace isn't a booster engine," Wilcox said. "It's a constant energy source."

Think of it more as a mother paying for piano lessons for her children.

"Mom pays the piano teacher. Mom requires practice," Wilcox said.

The children aren't ever repaying for the lessons with money. Their part is to practice and to learn.

"Jesus doesn't make up the difference; he makes all the difference," Wilcox said. "It's not about filling a gap. It's about filling up."


Keeping your hopes up

Growing up, radio host and author Amanda Dickson's mother would tell her, "Don't get your hopes up; you might be disappointed."

Dickson, who presented despite being ill, has changed that to "get your hopes up and leave them up," and don't worry too much about the worst-case scenario.

Sometimes the worst thing that could happen is the best thing that could happen, she added.

"Roll with the flow," she said. "There is energy in change."

Which is why women like new clothes — it's not necessarily the clothes but the change.


'See good days'

Author Emily Freeman likes to "see good days" and happy endings. She offered a few reminders to help see those kinds of days and endings.

First, change your perspective. Look at Laman and Lemuel versus Nephi, Freeman said. It's about perspective.

Second, lists can be powerful. Her grandmother had a list framed on the wall of the little things that brought joy after Freeman's grandfather died. Ammon listed blessings of a mission during the reunion with his brother and Alma the younger.

Third, have an understanding heart. Don't just jump to conclusions. Sometimes there are other circumstances that may not be obvious.

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