I'm running a marathon — while I'm still able to

Over breakfast this morning, my girlfriend Sally Larkin asked why I want to run a marathon.

Which I do!

I think!

Anyway, a marathon is on this summer's bucket list, and I did, in fact, win the lottery and get into the St. George Marathon, so folks, yes.

Come this October, I and thousands of other crazy people will run 26 miles down Snow Canyon at the crack of dawn because, seriously, what could be more fun?

To prepare, I get up every morning and jog (remember the 1970s when we used that word?) in Liberty Park where I am consistently logging the slowest times known to man.

Because I'm sooooooo slow, it takes me forever to complete my run and yes, it's B-O-R-I-N-G.

I try not to die of boredom by asking myself questions about my fellow parkgoers.

Why is it that the same kind of people always own rescue dogs with three legs and one eye, for example?

Or why would a guy with a hairy back wear a Speedo at the park swimming pool?

Or anywhere else?

MEMO TO GUYS WITH HAIRY BACKS: Don't. Thank you.

Sometimes, I even make up little stories in my head about the people I see, like the elderly lady in a van with a bumper sticker that said, "I love my Cub Scout."

I even wrote an opening sentence of a novel about her: "Life had been good when her son was a Cub Scout, but then he became a Webelo."

OK.

I realize that none of this answers the question of WHY I want to run a marathon. So now I'll try to focus (Come on, Ann! Focus!) and come up with a few good reasons.

1. I want to lose weight.

Although now that I think about it, I didn't lose any weight when I ran a half marathon for my 50th birthday.

In fact, I GAINED WEIGHT because, as it turns out, you can NOT eat cupcakes and drink Mexican Coca-Cola whenever you feel like it, even if you're training for a half marathon. (Boo to that!)

2. I want to prove to myself and my kids that it's possible to do something that's really, really hard no matter your age. (I know. I totally get points and also a movie deal for being inspirational with this one.)

3. I thought running would make me feel youthful again. In point of fact, it makes me realize that I have old hips. Also knees.

So yeah. My reasons are unsatisfactory. And besides, they don't actually explain something I can't explain anyway.

I don't know why I want to run a marathon — except that from the time I put on my first pair of Nikes almost 30 years ago, I've wanted to.

Period.

End of story.

And the truth is, my window of opportunity is closing. No, the road does NOT go on forever, and yes, the party finally ends.

So. While I still have the desire, I'm going for it.

(Slowly.)