Even Sleeping Beauty dreams of a 'DO-OVER'

Have you ever had an experience that made you wish you could wave your arm and shout "DO-OVER"?

Well, this is a story about that kind of moment.

Word got out that a certain man and his lovely wife would be visiting and speaking in our LDS ward, and I was all "Yes! I won't die of boredom!" I knew both of them would have interesting things to say.

However, I ended up missing their talks because you know how summer is.

You're always off somewhere celebrating your mother-in-law's 90th birthday (happy birthday, Ruth!), or going to friends' weddings (congratulations, Simon and Kimberlee!), or staring at a rock formation because you thought it was a whale, or driving up to Wyoming with your mother and her poodle who fake-coughs every time you roll the window, thus causing your mother to worry that the poodle might die from too much fresh air.

Anyway.

What with one thing and another, your regular routine goes straight out the window, and the next thing you know, you totally miss the talks you wanted to hear.

So the next time I saw this individual, I apologized profusely.

"I'm so sorry I missed your talk," I said. "We were out of town."

OK.

That's when things got a little surreal.

I could tell this person was confused, possibly a little alarmed. So was my neighbor, Kathy, who was standing next to me.

And that's when my son (who was standing on the other side of me) went, "Duh, Mom. You weren't out of town. YOU WERE ASLEEP!"

It's true!

I was!

I sat down on the chapel pew the day this man and his wife were speaking and fell into a deep slumber.

How deep was my slumber?

Well, I'm pretty sure I was thrashing around and shouting "Cobras!" the way Homer Simpson does whenever he has nightmares.

And also a bunch of thorny vines grew up around our pew just like those vines that surrounded the castle in "Sleeping Beauty."

And also I grew a beard just like Rip Van Winkle.

Also I was drooling.

Not a lot.

But still.

And when I woke up my hair looked like I'd been traveling in a car all day.

THAT'S how deeply asleep I was.

Which is why I had no memory of the talks this man and his wife gave.

Which is why I wanted to shout "DO-OVER!"

I was just so busted.

One day this will probably seem funny to me, like that time I locked myself and also my underwear outside the house at 2 in the morning.

And when that day comes I will say ha ha ha ha hahahaha ha ha HA and also ha!

Meanwhile?

I'm going into deeeeeeeeeeeeep hiding.

e-mail: acannon@desnews.com