Ann Cannon: Friends don't let friends drive texting

Dear Girl Who Nearly Ran Me off the Road Last Week,

Yes. It's me again. The one driving the (hopefully-safe-although-now-we're-not-so-sure) green Toyota.

Remember me?

Oh. That's right.

You wouldn't. In fact, you have absolutely no idea who I am. You never did see me, did you?

You know why?BECAUSE YOU WERE TEXTING!

Dollface, you were in the fast lane on northbound 1-15, doing at least 75 mph, and YOU WERE TEXTING!

Maybe

you were texting because you were bored. Maybe you've made that drive

between Salt Lake City and Layton so many times in your young life you

could just SCREAM with bored-ness.

AAAAAAAAAGH!

I HATE THIS STINKING BORING DRIVE SO MUCH I DON'T WANT TO MARRY IT!

Or

maybe some big huge important deal was going down at work and everyone

needed your input RIGHT NOW! EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE DRIVING! ON THE

FREEWAY! AT 75 MPH!

Or maybe you

were having a fight with your BFF. Maybe you're just really, really

sick of the way she always blows you off whenever some guy enters the

picture.

Like, maybe the two of you

were planning on a movie and then some random male she hardly even

knows asks her to dinner and suddenly you're just last season's

sweater, hanging on the REDUCED TO CLEAR rack.

Or

maybe you've always been really, really excellent at multi-tasking.

Maybe you were the kind of girl in high school who was a student body