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It's funny you should say that ...

Published: Thursday, May 6 2010 12:00 a.m. MDT

Dora the Explorer makes an appearance at a stake conference in Idaho. Two sister missionaries engage in a tug-of-war with a condor in Bolivia. And a senior missionary couple's car becomes suspect in Mississippi.

Just a sampling of the latest round of funny stories.

Since Mormon Times debuted in the Deseret News in January 2008, we have been asking readers to send us their humorous accounts of LDS life and culture. And they always deliver, whether it be a child awaiting the 170-second general conference or a farmer in Pennsylvania confused about his new neighbors.

So enjoy these funny recollections, and keep sending them in.

 


Swiper in the chapel

I went home for spring break, and it was my parents' stake conference.

As I sat listening to the speakers I was repeatedly offended as the young family in front of me opened package after package of Girl Scout cookies — all the while not offering me a single one.

Yeah, I know.

Thin Mints.

Samoas.

Tagalongs.

I was tempted to just reach forward and grab one from the little girl.

Well, her father apparently had the same craving and the same idea. As his daughter looked the other way, he slowly began to pry a cookie from her tiny hand.

Suddenly the 3-year-old's head whipped around. "Swiper, no swiping!" she screamed.

My future children are now cut off from Dora the Explorer and will always share their snacks in church.

Kari Jenkins, Pocatello


Bird battle

The condor, magnificent king of the Andes, has always been a fascination with me. Similar to our American eagle, but much larger, the condor is black and majestic, with a wing span of up to 10 feet.

More than a year into my Mormon mission to South America, I was able to meet one.

My companion and I were en route to our new assignment in southern Bolivia. Because of scheduling problems, we had a three-day layover in the city of Oruro. We spent most of our time doing first-contacting in different and unusual places, one of which was the Oruro zoo.

Upon entering the zoo, we soon found the condor cage and eagerly began pulling our cameras out of our purses to take pictures. My companion, who was carrying a Book of Mormon and a Bible, set her books down on a cement post next to the cage. The condor, perched close to the fence, spotted her books and moved closer for a better look. He poked his head through an opening in the fence and began pecking away at her scriptures.

A vulture and a carnivore, a condor is not the kind of animal you want eating your Standard Works. As Sister Watts reached out and grabbed her books, the condor released the books and grabbed her hand in his beak. Panic-stricken, she pulled back, but the bird held tight.

We thought maybe it was the end for poor Sister Watts. The harder she pulled, the tighter he gripped.

I didn't know what to do. All I had in my hands was a copy of the May Ensign, the general conference issue. Rolling it up, I beat the condor over the head for all I was worth. After a few furious minutes he finally released his hold.

Sister Watts was saved, which just goes to show that even though we might have the ancient scriptures, at times we are helpless to save ourselves without the words of the living prophet.

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