Brad Rock: Rock On

Published: Tuesday, April 5 2011 8:46 p.m. MDT

K-FESSING UP

Lakers star Kobe Bryant was hammered by the Jazz's Kyrylo Fesenko during last Friday's game after which Fes flipped the ball at Bryant. When reporters later asked Bryant about the incident, he said, “That kitty cat can't hurt me, man.”

Asked whether it “ignited” him, Bryant replied, “Teddy bears don't ignite me.”

Pressed about whether it was a sign of disrespect, Bryant chuckled, “Are we seriously talking about Fesenko right now? Next question.”

Rock On longs for a return to the playoffs, so he can watch K-Fes give Kobe his Ukranian Death Stare, aka the Kitty Cat Surprise.

Rrrrrawrrrr!

MARCH MADNESS

Among David Letterman's ways to know you've been watching too much March Madness:

"Your kids are named Xavier, Duke and Notre Dame."

"You are having exotic dreams about Verne Lundquist.

"You propose to your girlfriend using a dry erase board."

"You have spent thousands of dollars in plastic surgery trying to look like Jim Boeheim. "

GROUP EFFORT

New Ute basketball coach Larry Krystowiak told the media on Monday that “it takes a village of people” to build a great basketball team.

OK, so it's a village of people with 45-inch verticals and/or a 7-foot wingspans...

BY THE NUMBERS

Nineteen percent is:

(a) Butler's field goal percentage in the national championship game.

(b) The odds of the Jazz making the playoffs next year.

(c) The chances of the Ute P.A. announcer correctly pronouncing “Krystkowiak” on his first attempt.

FOREVER YOUNG

Looking for something to do after her divorce, Laura Vikmanis tried out for the Cincinnati Bengals cheer squad two years ago.

Now she's 42 and on the squad – the NFL's oldest cheerleader - and New Line Cinema is planning a movie.

Just wondering, does this mean 46-year-old Jeff Hornacek is the answer to the Jazz's worries at shooting guard?

AND FINALLY...

TC Chong, quoted in the Saskatoon Star-Phoenix about seven New York State workers who won the $319 million lottery: "Looks like the lucky winners can finally afford a pair of Yankees season tickets."

email: rock@desnews.com twitter: therockmonster

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