The antidote to bullying

"The nicest girl can be nicer than the nicest guy, but the meanest girl can be meaner than the meanest guy."

That's what Laurel Christensen, creative director over product development at Deseret Book, said on a special general conference edition of "A Woman's View."

Is that true? Is she right?

We were talking about bullying.

Everyone is talking about bullying lately. I googled bullying just now and was flooded with information. I found articles about President Obama's conference last week on the subject. Then I saw a flyer on a conference in Las Vegas in June on just girl bullying, and then there's a Standing Up to Bullying Conference in Arizona … and that's just a few minutes of perusing.

"I was bullied," Julie Donaldson admitted on "A Woman's View." She is the author of "Don't Throw Rocks at His Window: Real Advice to Mend a Broken Heart." "I stood up for a girl who was being picked on. I said, 'Leave her alone!' and I paid for it. The bully came back with two friends when no one was around and roughed me up. I had nightmares about it. That girl — the bully — she knew the power of numbers."

The power of numbers.

Like 783 friends on Facebook. That's a big number. Maybe that's why bullies use Facebook.

"Bullies understand the power of friendship," Christensen added." "They need connection. They're getting it negatively, but they're getting it."

Is it possible that friendship is the antidote to bullying? Not only in the literal sense of there is power in numbers and I am protected by my three friends when you threaten me with your three, but in the psychological sense that I won't need to bully in the first place if I am blessed with the power of true friendship?

I'm no psychologist, obviously, but doesn't that feel right? Friendship can have a uniquely healing power, the power to heal both bully and victim, at any age.

Laurel, Julie and I talked about how there is nothing more damaging for a girl than when she's pitted against another girl. Unlike boys who might say something cruel or throw a punch and then be done with it, the girl doesn't walk away from being bullied or bullying. She carries it with her, and the same is true for her mother.

Whether it's being judgmental or gossiping or trying to sabotage another woman, adult women are bullied and bully in the workplace, at church, at PTA and every other place, every day.

And they do it on Facebook.

"If everyone understood the power of friendship, bullying wouldn't be such a problem," Donaldson suggested.

I truly think she's onto something here. We need to model for our daughters what friendship looks like, and what it doesn't look like. When they hear us talking about another woman with something less than kindness and respect, they learn. When they see us complaining or expressing jealousy or disdain, they learn. And when they see us expressing love, they learn.

And so do we.

But then again, that's just one woman's view.

Amanda Dickson is the co-host of Utah's Morning News, weekday mornings from 5-9 on KSL Newsradio, 102.7 FM and 1160 AM, and also "A Woman's View," heard Sundays at 11 a.m. You can follow Amanda on Twitter, Facebook or amandadickson.com.