I ended up liking SeaWorld, especially the sharks and the roller coaster. I bought a shark tooth necklace. I broke it as soon as I got into the car on our way home. Scottie tried to fix it, but it all came apart. My mom says she’ll fix it later, but dad said, “Please don’t! Boys shouldn’t be wearing necklaces.”
Scottie (10 at the time): SeaWorld was fun, but when I’m a parent I’m going to make my vacations more educational for my kids. There was ship museum close to the hotel, but my parents didn’t want to go. It had five different kinds of ships, which would have been really educational. Instead we went and saw the USS Midway, an aircraft carrier that fought in World War II and other wars. The USS Midway had flight simulators, but my parents wouldn’t pay the $25 to let me fly a jet, so I had to sit in an old jet that didn’t move while my dad took a picture. It was lame.
Josh is obsessed with sports. What kid would rather watch ESPN than Cartoon Network? I wish my parents had Cartoon Network. It showed Scooby Doo a lot. I’ve seen all of the episodes already. The only thing better than Cartoon Network is Brian Regan. I have all of his jokes memorized. My dad doesn’t like him very much, probably because Brian’s a lot funnier than my dad.
The “Soak Zone” was my home at SeaWorld. I begged to get soaked. My brothers always wanted to sit by me, even though they didn’t care as much as I do about getting soaked. It was fun, except I wore pants the second day and walked around like I was pretty chapped.
I picked “Tom and Jerry” as my movie for the car. I call it Thomas and Gerald since that’s Tom and Jerry’s real names. I know lots of important, educational facts like that.
Jill (30-something at the time): What a fun vacation! The kids had a blast and we loved being with them all of that time.
I packed a lot of food for the trip to try and keep costs down and stay within our budget. Scott gets embarrassed when we eat homemade sandwiches at the cafÉ while everyone around us is eating gourmet SeaWorld food. I can tell he didn’t grow up as the oldest of eight children.
I liked SeaWorld, but I got cold quickly on those wet rides. The second day I bought a poncho and it helped. Scott grumbled about spending $6 on a poncho (“that’s enough money to buy a nice hot dog,” he complained), but he used it more religiously than I did.
Scott (younger than Jill): I think you know what I think of San Diego.
Scott Brown practices bankruptcy law by day with Lewis and Roca LLP in Phoenix, Ariz., and moonlights as a humor columnist by night.
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