How do you define a good mom?

My almost 4-year-old daughter has a game she likes to play called “child.” I’m not sure how Nicole picked up this name, but basically it is a variation of “playing house.” She is the mother and I am the “child” along with multiple baby dolls.

This game has led to more than one awkward moment when we have both been “nursing” our babies together in public. But it has also turned out to be a jackpot in terms of getting into my daughter’s head to see the world through her eyes.

One day, for example, she was sitting at my computer pretending to type. When I asked her what she was doing, she turned and looked at me and sighed, “Well, child, when you came down from heaven I wanted to spend all my time with you, so I stopped working. But that means I have to do work on my computer sometimes at home.”

Another time, she reassured me that “Daddy will take care of you. He is very brave.” And then this week, I complimented her on her mothering skills while she was taking care of my baby doll “sisters.”

“A good mom watchers her babies and cleans the dishes,” she said. Intrigued by her definition of a “good mom,” I asked her what is the most important thing a mom does. “Well, she does the laundry. Oh, and she keeps her kids safe — you know, from monsters and bad guys.”

All in all, it’s not a bad definition: laundry, dishes and monsters. Sounds like a regular Tuesday to me. Her answer got me thinking about the qualities I think a “good mom” should possess. Some days, it does seem like doing the laundry should put me in the running for a mother-of-the-year award, but we all know motherhood is much more than the day-to-day housekeeping. So I made my list of the top qualities I aspire to show in my effort to be the best mom I can — even if no one in my family ever has clean underwear and we use plastic spoons because there are no clean ones left. (Come on, you know you’ve done that, too.)

1. Makes personal sacrifices for her children’s happiness and well-being — I don’t think there’s a mother in the world who hasn’t done this simply by having a baby. But once you leave the delivery room, there’s a whole lifetime of sacrifices waiting. There’s the big things like giving up careers and time. But there are also countless little sacrifices that moms make like staying up all night to watch a sick child or never eating a hot meal again in your life because you’re too busy cutting chicken into bite-sized pieces. The funny thing is they don’t really seem like sacrifices.