It's hard to make time to win the fitness battle

I am not one to buy into most of those wild conspiracy theories, but some days I do wonder if someone — or some thing — is conspiring against my efforts to live healthier.

No this is not a column about me giving up on my resolutions already. On the contrary, I am declaring war on this effort — real or perceived — to undermine my workouts.

Like most working moms and dads, my most determined and cunning enemy is my schedule. The clock runs faster, and I have to accomplish more. On those days that require my taxi-driving skills — i.e. my girls are busy — I have to consider working out at hours so early they qualify as the night before, or so late I finally get to know what it would feel like to have my own gym.

One day I was so busy, it was 1:30 in the afternoon before I realized I was in danger of missing a workout. I decided to drink my lunch (protein shake) and use the time to sneak in a workout. I was feeling pretty proud of myself, as I wiped the sweat from my brow and began listening to the messages that had accumulated while I'd been at the gym.

I walked to my car, searching my bag for my keys. Searching, searching, searching. I put my phone in my pocket so I could devote my full attention to the search.

Then I saw them. Through the car window, I saw my keys sitting in between the seats.

Really?! How could I do this to myself? I have a phone interview scheduled in just 15 minutes, children who need to get from school to music lessons and now I NEED A SHOWER on top of being late for everything!

It was one of those moments, in the middle of a long and trying day, where you seriously consider checking into a motel under the name of a soap star and sleeping for 24 straight hours. OK, maybe I'd spend one hour eating Frosted Flakes until I felt like I was going to blow and THEN I'd sleep.

(This is also one of those moments when you wish you didn't drink your lunch.)

I took a few deep breaths (thank you, yoga) and started laughing.

My "me time" had turned into a huge inconvenience, and I felt a lot like I do at mile 20 of a marathon.

Here's the conversation, which reminds me a lot of that scene in "The Lord of the Rings" where Gollum argues with himself about whether or not to trust Frodo.

Sinister, hunched-up Amy (in a whinny voice): "Why did I sign up for this? What was I thinking?"