'Thumbs up' to those who help me survive

Regular readers of this column may remember I broke my wrist last spring and ended up with a plate and seven shiny new screws.

The wrist healed nicely, but then a tendon frayed and now I can't use my thumb, and here's the BIG LIFE LESSON I've learned as a result:

Dude. You need a thumb.

As it turns out, thumbs are not useless vestigial body parts like wisdom teeth or tailbones or appendices or ear muscles. OR man nipples.

You need thumbs to "grasp" and "hold onto things" and "not drop them" or "accidentally knock them over."

Plus, you need thumbs to give someone a "thumbs up."

Also to hitchhike!

I'm just saying that opposable thumbs are where it's at, baby.

Opposable thumbs make ALL of us human and SOME of us capable of using sharp instruments without hurting ourselves.

Anyhoo! I'm having surgery to correct the problem. And to take out the screws. And hey, how about a tummy tuck while we're at it?

(Kidding.)

(Sadly.)

Which means I'll be in a cast and limited to using my left hand for awhile.

Again.

So I've been running around the past few days, getting prepared.

Food in the fridge for husband and kids? Check.

Batteries in the remote control? Check.

Clean sheets on the bed? Check.

Stash of Dr. Pepper (not diet) (with caffeine) (in cans)? Check.

Pile of STAR magazines? Duh.

Stack of detective novels? Check, and also is life really worth living without said stack? (ANSWER: No.)

I also have stretchy pants to wear and a standing appointment for someone other than my husband to wash my hair.

Have I forgotten anything? I've asked myself this a dozen times as I've raced around in an effort to prepare.

And the answer is YES. I've clearly forgotten this muy importante fact. The last time I had surgery on my hand, I WASN'T THE LEAST BIT PREPARED FOR IT.