Campaign highlights finances of the elderly

The first sign of trouble came when she mistakenly took her husband's medicine. She'd been caring for him for a while, and her children thought she was simply overwhelmed. After he died, they would find that their mom, a retired IRS agent who could recite the tax code even when she was confused, was hiding collection notices from the IRS under her chair.

Unscrupulous salespeople preyed on her. One sold her an unnecessary coating for her roof, another a warranty on her 21-year-old car. Most infuriating to her daughter, Christine Helfrich, was the "personal shopper" who sold her mom a $3,000 suit. "It was not something an 85-year-old would wear to church," Helfrich said.

About 330,000 Utahns qualify as family caregivers, according to the Family Caregiver Alliance, which values their 360 million hours of care at $3.2 million, and finances are among their toughest challenges.

It's important to have "the talk" about finances early, said Jason Stoddard, retail leader for Key Bank, which has launched an awareness campaign about the issue. Adult children often jeopardize their own financial situation as they struggle to cope with a parent's.

Stoddard said the campaign targets five things: having that frank discussion, early so there's no hard feeling or suspicion when the time comes; getting organized; preparing for market ups and downs; making sure you understand the paperwork your parents have, such as long-term care; and knowing about other sources of financial help, like reverse mortgages or an unclaimed veteran's pension.

An adult child should be a signer on the parent's checking account so that funds are available should the parent become ill or incapacitated. Otherwise, no matter how good your intentions are or how desperate a parent's situation, you won't get access without a court order. It becomes unnecessarily complicated, when it could have been handled simply, in advance.

It's also crucial to know where insurance policies, wills and other important papers are, Stoddard said.

Studies say about 40 percent of people over age 65 will spend time in a nursing home, which now average about $3,000 a month. Long-term-care insurance can be a lifesaver, but Stoddard said to be sure you're buying what you think you are. The person who will deal with it, most likely an adult child, should know what the policy does and does not provide.

Helfrich and her sister filed their mom's back taxes and helped her have an out-of-state trust redone to meet Utah laws. It's important to get sound advice, she said. A friend was told to put his kids' names on his trust. Helfrich was told to name the kids as successor trustees, so if one of them had a serious car crash, for instance, no one could sue and drain the parent's trust.

Helfrich said she could have saved her mom, who died in September, a lot of stress and simplified things for all of them if she'd stepped in sooner.

"When I noticed bills and things piling up on the floor, I should have gotten snoopy sooner and said, 'Let me help organize this or do your bills.' I wish I had paid more attention to the little signs."

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