Twitterati to BCS: 'We hate you. Signed, Everyone'

Say you're a college football fan who still can't make up your mind. Then one day you discover your hair is on fire. When you pick up the phone, do you call:

a.) The nearest fire department; or

b.) your hairdresser?

If you chose b.), congratulations! The folks who run the Bowl Championship Series are dying to meet you.

Ever since hijacking college football's postseason in 1992 by forming the Bowl Coalition, they've had a tough time making friends and influencing people. They've thrown money around, tweaked the rules a dozen times and twisted themselves into a stadium's worth of pretzels trying to explain why the sport doesn't need a playoff.

Yet almost two decades later, only one out of every 10 fans agrees — and the number of coaches and players is only slightly higher.

The fact is there's no good way to sell a bad idea. But that hasn't stopped the BCS from trying. And trying. Even so, this latest scheme might be the most hare-brained ever.

First, they hired Ari Fleischer, the PR veteran who established his bona fides in damage control while trying to make George W. Bush look good. Next, armed with a Twitter account and Facebook page, the conference commissioners who run the cartel and the college presidents who enable them launched a charm offensive.

Early reports from the front were not encouraging. The Twitterati virtually carpet-bombed @insidethebcs. Even if you discard the over-the-top comments, there were so many stinging rebukes left that it was difficult to compile a list of the best. But here are excerpts from five personal favorites, collected on huffingtonpost.com:

"We hate you. Signed, Everyone."

"We especially hate you. Signed: Utah."

" ... not getting enough venom via the traditional media?"

"Do they also send themselves hate mail?"

"You are like a black, ichorous boil on the sporting world that should be lanced with rusty nails."

The Facebook page page hasn't fared much better. For starters, it threatened to undo the smartest decision the BCS had made since its inception: convincing Bill Hancock, one of the most-respected and best-liked administrators in college sports, to sign on last week as the first executive director and new face of the organization.