The grateful living: Thanksgiving more than a speed bump to Christmas

There are many "gift-giving" days in the United States — Valentine's, Christmas, Mother's Day. But on the one holiday with "giving" in its name, nobody gets a thing.

Thanksgiving is about gratitude.

It's a day for saying grace.

The problem with Thanksgiving isn't greed. The problem is the day has been diminished; it's becoming a speed bump on the road to Christmas.

Thanksgiving has become a "theme" instead of an attitude.

Check the children's section of local bookstores. You'll find Thanksgiving books as an occasion for humor, horror, puzzles, history lessons, even art lessons (a Thanksgiving dinner plate where kids make faces with their food).

But there are precious few books about gratefulness.

Gratitude, as an attitude, is in decline.

Perhaps in table graces around the nation, this year's the time to give thanks for feelings of thankfulness.

The ancient sage Cicero claimed thankfulness was the parent of all other virtues.

Being able to feel grateful is a gift in itself.

In his celebrated book, "Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer," David Stendl-Rast writes, "Why is it so difficult to acknowledge a gift as a gift? Here is the reason. When I admit that something is a gift, I admit my dependence on the giver."

And the last thing people want these days is to feel "beholden." We're about empowerment, not dependence.

Still, those who learn the art of gratitude soon learn how it can lighten and align a life — how it can smooth out the edges and take the sting from disappointments.

The trick is in the doing.

"God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today," writes William A. Ward. "Have you used even one second to say thank you?"

It takes practice.

Elaine St. James, who counsels people in simplifying their lives, says we shouldn't balk at placing Post-It notes around to remind us to feel gratitude. Put one in the car, she says, and one on the bathroom mirror. Post one to the fridge and another to the television. She claims the more gratitude you give, the more you feel. We all have an inexhaustible supply of thank you's inside of us. Author G.K. Chesterton said many people say grace before a meal, but he had taught himself to say grace before everything from operas to soccer matches. He said grace, he said, each time he sat down to write.

In "Fiddler on the Roof," when Motel the tailor asks the old rabbi if there's a blessing for a sewing machine, he replies, "There is a blessing for everything."

And everything, he might have added, is also a blessing.

The blessing on the food should be more than something we say. It should be a lifestyle.