Report harassment to boss

Annie's Mailbox

Published: Friday, Nov. 20, 2009 5:48 p.m. MST

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Dear Annie: I am a happily married straight male and am having a problem with a co-worker. "Gil" is a self-proclaimed bisexual. Even though he is fully aware of my orientation, he constantly makes lewd comments to me. He also invites me to his home for dinner on a regular basis — without my wife, of course.

Gil is senior to me at work. Because of his stature, I am hesitant to report his behavior. How can I resolve this? — Need Guidance

Dear Need Guidance: Gil is guilty of sexual harassment. Tell him you find his comments unprofessional and inappropriate and you want him to stop. If he keeps it up, speak to his boss or someone in human resources. He is leaving the company open to a lawsuit.

Dear Annie: My husband is approaching 60, and I've long been frustrated with our poor communication. Counseling has been useless since his participation was minimal. I suspect he has Asperger syndrome. I've done some reading online, and "Ron" exhibits nearly all the traits of this disorder.

I struggle with depression myself, and the prospect of dealing with this situation for the rest of my life fills me with sadness. Leaving is not financially possible. I've read about treatment options, but I doubt Ron would be willing to make the effort.

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I find it hard to fully express my feelings, even in a professional setting, so I'm hesitant to seek counseling on my own. I don't have the kind of friends I can talk to about this. I feel so alone. Where do I go from here? — Hopeless

Dear Hopeless: You might benefit from contacting an online support group for spouses dealing with this disorder. Online chat groups will allow you to "listen in" without participating until you are ready. Try MAAP Services Inc. (maapservices.org), P.O. Box 524, Crown Point, IN 46307, the Autism Society (autism-society.org) or the online Asperger's forum at autism.about.com.

Dear Annie: Perhaps you will let me talk to "Unappreciated," who works for a small family-owned company. Employee morale has decreased because of the perception that the owners are not sacrificing the way the employees are.