I've heard that one of the toughest things to do in life is to move your parents into an assisted-living center or nursing home.

I believe that. The challenges would be both emotional and financial.

This week's letter comes from someone trying to deal with the latter.

"We have an elderly family member who has all her assets in a trust," an anonymous e-mailer wrote. "The major asset is her home. She is now in need of extra care. She will live with her daughter for a while, but we fear that she will need a nursing (home) before she dies.

"We understand that her assets have to be depleted before she qualifies for state or federal assistance with the nursing home. We also have been told that if she gives her assets to her children, she will be eligible for assistance after a certain period of time. Can you tell me what the time limit is?"

Our e-mailer also wonders about the tax consequences of this family member giving assets to her children now, as opposed to letting them inherit the assets after her death.

For help with these questions, I called Randy Holmgren, an estates and trusts attorney with the Salt Lake law firm Jones Waldo Holbrook & McDonough.

Randy says this e-mail raises common questions that are always of "considerable concern."

"If the mother's only significant asset was the home, the family would not have to sell the home before the mother would qualify for Medicaid to pay the cost of her being in an assisted living or a nursing home — if that was her only home — because a home is considered to be an exempt asset for purposes of Medicaid eligibility," Randy says.

"However, if she has other assets, such as savings and investment accounts or other real estate, then those types of assets are what are called countable assets."

That means when she is applying for Medicaid, they "count" toward whether or not she is eligible.

"To be eligible, your total countable assets can only be about $2,000," Randy says. "So in other words, Medicaid is assistance for the poor."

And even if she receives assistance and keeps her home for now, her family members should not assume they would inherit the home free and clear in the future.

"If Medicaid steps in and pays toward her assisted living or nursing home care, then they have a right to be reimbursed at her death from the equity in that house," Randy says.