Dear Annie: Shortly after Thanksgiving last year, my husband was hospitalized at the San Francisco VA Medical Center. We live 250 miles from the hospital and spent the week with friends nearby. We visited my husband daily, and did the same a few months later when he needed a second surgery.

While there, I observed that the vast majority of patients had absolutely no visitors. I asked the nurse if this was a fluke because of the holidays, and she sadly told me my husband was among the rare ones who had people come by.

As we left, I made a point of saying something encouraging to each patient I saw. While I waited for my husband's second trip to the hospital, I spent time thinking of small things I could do to make their time there less lonely. The staff at the VA is wonderful. Not only do they provide great care, but they do it with a smile. Everyone we passed said hello, including members of the supervisory, housekeeping and maintenance staffs. When we left the last time, I placed a large box of candy at the nurses' station with a thank-you note for the wonderful care.

Aside from adding my encouragement to your Valentines for Vets program, I would like your readers not to forget our veterans on other days, especially Veterans Day, Memorial Day and the 4th of July. — Vet's Wife in Northern California

Dear Vet's Wife: Thank you for giving us this opportunity to remind our readers on Veterans Day to visit their local VA hospital and brighten the day for the residents there. You don't have to have any special skills. Bring flowers, baked goods if permitted, books or photos of your kids to break the ice, and simply ask a few questions: Where did you grow up? Do you have any hobbies? What is your favorite movie, book, etc.? How are you feeling? And take the time to listen to the responses. It can make a world of difference.

Dear Annie: I have been seeing "Gary" for three years. He is a wonderful person but gets upset easily. Lately, he has become verbally abusive. It's quite painful because I know inside he is a good person.

I am insecure now and don't know what to expect. I do not want to be without him because he makes me happy most of the time. When he is in a great mood, he treats me like a queen and constantly says "I love you." Should I take the bad with the good? — Extremely Sad