Who's the softer touch on money: Mom or Dad?

It is the most basic trick in the book for children: When one parent won't give you what you want, go ask the other.

Most parents get burned on this a time or two (or a dozen) before they perfect the phrase, "What did your mother (or father) say?" Or there's my personal favorite: "Go ask your mother."

But a new poll shows that, when it comes to borrowing money from Mom and Dad, whom you ask does matter.

And it turns out Dad is likely to be the softer touch.

CreditCards.com, a credit card comparison Web site, said in a press release that its recent poll shows 21 percent of men with children said they would give their kids more than $20,000 to pay off credit card bills and other debts, even if they had no expectation of ever getting paid back. That number fell to 12 percent for women with children.

The release goes on to say that the fathers would likely accompany their financial help with objections and reprimands, but the money would flow.

However, that does not mean parents are willing to dig their children out of debt no matter what.

"In cases when it comes to debts that seem more productive and socially acceptable — like helping children pay off student loans — 70 percent of fathers and nearly 59 percent of mothers would have little objection," the release said. "A majority of both genders feels the same way about mortgage payments or rent, and a plurality of men and women would have little objection to helping with auto loans.

"So if younger generations run into trouble paying off student loans, medical bills, rent, mortgage, or even your auto loans, give Mom — and especially Dad — a call. After a stern talking-to, they'll likely be willing to help."

The same does not hold true with gambling debts. The poll found that almost 66 percent of mothers and 61 percent of fathers would never help their children with those kinds of debts.

"When it comes to credit card bills, 29 percent of mothers and nearly 26 percent of fathers would never help, and more than 42 percent of mothers and 51 percent of fathers would object to doing so," the release said.

For the scientific poll, 1,000 adults were interviewed between Aug. 28 and 30, 2009, by GfK Roper Public Affairs & Media. The margin of error is 3 percentage points.

These poll results got me thinking about my own family situation. I do most of the bill-paying and checkbook-watching in our home, while my wife does the majority of the shopping. But when it comes to our daughters and son, I don't know that one of us is an easier mark than the other. Frankly, I'm sure that — despite our best intentions — we both spoil our children at various times by buying them things they want, but don't need.

I've never had to ask my own parents for a debt-related financial bailout (and hope that I never will), but I think I would probably talk to both of them if I needed some help. That said, my dad always has been a bit of a soft touch when it comes to money. Of course, he comes by it honestly. My grandpa was the same way.

What do you think? Is one of your parents more likely to help you out financially than the other? How have you handled such situations as a parent? Are you more likely to help out with some debts than others? What advice can you pass on to the rest of us?

Please send your thoughts on the issue, as well as any personal finance comments or questions, to gkratz@desnews.com or to the Deseret News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, UT 84110.

e-mail: gkratz@desnews.com