Extracurricular activities: Should kids be forced into them?

Should parents force kids to pursue activities (music or athletic lessons, for example) in order to learn things that can benefit them?

PARENT ADVICE

The lesson is not to do something we hate just to say we did it. I quit clarinet as a kid. Do I regret that? No. I hated the clarinet and I still hate clarinet! But I also joined the track team. I wanted to quit several times because it was hard work. But when I ran, I loved it, and when I won, I loved it even more. The moral of the story is that anything you enjoy doing is worth working hard for.

— Maureen LoBue

We told our kids that when they made a commitment to play an instrument or participate in a sport or take on any extracurricular activity, they had to commit to participate for the run of the activity. So if you wanted to play soccer, you played for the whole season whether you loved it or not. Our commitment was to support the activity whole-hog. If there was an opportunity to get any extra experience, we pushed our kids to go for it. Don't forget volunteer opportunities or student coaching or refereeing. Our kids should know that the activities in which they participate have a purpose in the larger world.

— Sue Schafer

I got some good advice from a mom of a musical family. She told me not to force my younger children to practice their instruments. Until they are about 10 or 11, just have them go to lessons and practice 5 minutes a day. Once they have some maturity and more ability and desire, then step up the practice. This has worked well for my son, who plays violin. I keep the practice schedule light, and he looks forward to class and, according to his teacher, does really well. He is at the point now where he will practice more than last year because he wants to do well in the class.

— Sharon Brinkman

It is important to balance school, play and rest. Consider adding extracurricular activities in the summertime when students are on break, or sequence the novel activities so that your child can focus on one extracurricular activity at a time during the school year. Also, remember many important life skills we learn come from simply … playing!

—Paula Glenn

If you had your choice as a child to take "it" or not, what would you choose? Not to take "it." I firmly believe that a child's judgment is not in sync with their future benefits. There are some reasons that we are parents and one is to guide our children for their future.

—Peggy Mitchell

EXPERT ADVICE

Experience with the arts, sports and the outdoors can teach social skills, expand attention span, develop a work ethic and reinforce academics, said Craig Pohlman, a psychologist and author of "How Can My Kid Succeed in School?" (Jossey-Bass, $19.95). Music classes, for example, often weave in history. Studying a foreign language can bolster English skills too.

"Parents should be transparent with their children about why they are promoting specialty classes," Pohlman said. "Adolescents can appreciate the rationale, especially when it comes via a give-and-take dialogue as opposed to a parent-dominated lecture. Younger children can also comprehend long-term rationales if they are explained in developmentally appropriate ways."

Finally, make time for your own interests, Pohlman said: "Modeling curiosity and the pursuit of hobbies and affinities sends a message to kids that such activities are important."

Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.