Politicians getting ready for very scary Halloween

This is the week for political ghouls, goblins and ghosts. Oh, and it's also Halloween. To honor this ever more popular holiday, your columnists reveal what Utah politicos will be wearing for trick or treating this week (well, actually they do that all year long). We also describe some features of Utah's political Spook Alley.

Gov. Gary Herbert is clearly the Dracula of Utah. This Friday night, Halloween eve, he will "drain" all those donors at his big fundraising gala — with sponsorships as large as $50,000 and $25,000 a pop.

Salt Lake County Mayor Peter Corroon will be Hamlet, carrying a skull approximately the size of Herbert's head, and will be heard muttering, "To be or not to be ... governor …"

Sen. Bob Bennett will return as Ichabod Crane, but this time with a big, bloody cane, apparently used to bludgeon an overambitious attorney general.

Attorney Gen. Mark Shurtleff will be costumed as Frankenstein, appropriate to his new image fabricated from the parts of various conservative causes.

Congressman Jim Matheson will be the Jolly Green Giant, signifying two things — that he's a really nice guy, friendly to children, dogs and Republican voters, and that he works well with the vegetables (Hatch and Bennett) in the congressional delegation.

Sen. Orrin Hatch will be King Kong, a not-to-subtle reminder that HE is the 5,000-pound gorilla of Utah politics.

Democratic contender for the U.S. Senate Sam Granato will throw caution to the wind and wear a skimpy robe and a slingshot to portray a biblical David persona.

Congressman Rob Bishop will be returning as Casper the Friendly Ghost, highlighting the fact that many of his constituents think he's cute, but he's invisible most of the time.

Congressman Jason Chaffetz will be donning the uniform of an angry TSA inspection officer. He will haul around one of those TSA see-through machines, and will push people into it, then make rude comments about their underwear.

State Republican Chairman Dave Hansen will dress up as a really witchy Nancy Pelosi and will trick-or-treat across the 2nd District with a loudspeaker blaring: "A vote for Matheson is a vote for me, and together we will murder Toto … tee-hee-hee … cackle … cackle."

State Democratic Chairman Wayne Holland will be Moses for Halloween, re-enacting the miracle of parting the Red Sea of Republicanism so a Democrat can win a statewide race in Utah.