Deep South blog: Southern sayings I will never say

I lived in the Northeast for almost two decades before I moved to the South (where I've lived for more than 10 years). While I've not acquired the taste for sweet tea, I do love fried okra. I no longer carry Chapstick in the back pocket of my jeans but have instead learned to wear lipstick every-single-day-of-my-life-no-matter-what-and-no-matter-where-I'm-going. My thick wool sweaters have been relegated to the Goodwill and have made room in my closet for light cottony cardigans. I have a front porch, and while it has no swing, it has a rocking chair. And as far as my speech, I think I'm straddling the fence in that area just a little.

You see, I don't have a Yankee accent (or a Southern accent for that matter, though my friends up north would surely disagree with me). But there are many words I still use that I would consider "Yankee speak." I am neither willing nor able to use these words in the form of their Southern translation and do not anticipate that this will change any time soon (or anytime not soon for that matter). The list of words and/or phrases that have not entered my vocabulary in more than 10 years follows:

Sucker. It is a lollipop, NOT a sucker. A sucker is someone who has received the bad end of a deal or is considered gullible or otherwise easy to fool.

Lid. A cover goes on the top of your Coke from McDonald's, not a lid.

Bless her heart. To be honest, I don't know why I haven't adopted this phrase as it affords one the ability to say something deeply offensive to or about someone but then immediately erase any damage that may have been done to the relationship simply by ending the sentence (or tirade) with "Bless your heart" or "Bless her heart." An example: "That Mary really isn't very bright. Or pretty. And she could afford to lose a few pounds. Bless her heart." Suddenly, Mary doesn't seem quite so bad, bless her heart.

Mash. For heaven's sake, you push a button, you do not mash it. Mash is a way to prepare potatoes. For instance, I will never say, "Darn this t.v. remote! I keeping mashing the power button and the t.v. still won't turn on. Stupid remote. Bless its heart.

However, despite my steadfast desire to remain true to my Yankee roots, there a few Southern terms I have picked up that (in my opinion) significantly add to my communication capabilities.