Mr. Korver, up for dinner at my place?
My daughter's birthday is coming up next month, and I know just the gift: dinner with Kyle Korver.
She once joked about having me hook her up with that good-looking new Jazz player — "hot" was the term I think she used — and I said, yeah, right, I'd put it at the top of my to-do list.
Now I'm actually thinking I could make it happen, except for two things: It costs a lot, and the plan I have in mind isn't available in Salt Lake.
Otherwise, heck of an idea.
It's been a long time coming, but economic realities are finally affecting NBA players. That was brought home during the free agent period, last summer, when Carlos Boozer got no better offers than the one he already had from the Jazz. During the season, he had predicted he would command a guaranteed raise "no matter what."
Now comes an even bigger shock for super rich athletes: They may actually have to do something besides play basketball to sell their product.
My birthday brainstorm came after hearing the New Jersey Nets are selling ticket packages that include four courtside tickets for 10 games, plus parking, access to the big-shots lounge and a one-hour appearance by the player of their choice. The player may appear at the buyer's office, home, school or even party.
"That's a terrific thing and it's tough to put a price tag on it," said Nets' CEO Brett Yormark.
But they managed. The cost is $25,000.
That's one expensive hookup.
The marketing idea hasn't spread to other NBA teams, but if it does, I might fork over the money and get Korver to visit our house. I'll just tell my daughter we're having a surprise guest, and suddenly he'll be sitting by her at the dinner table, first chair on the left. Or maybe I'll request a visit from Mr. Guaranteed Raise himself, Boozer. Since he'll be employed by me for an hour, I might ask him to do a few tricks, like blowing milk through his nostrils or singing happy birthday in a falsetto.
I may even convince him to come out to my driveway and let me beat him in a game of H-O-R-S-E.
You know, so the neighbors can see.
If there's time before the hour is up, I'll entertain him with my knock-knock jokes.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Abbott.
Abbott who?
Abbott time you guys started living like the rest of us!
Recent comments
I have been enjoying Brad's columns for years and this has to be one...
james | Oct. 24, 2009 at 10:32 a.m.
Brad: Great article. I got a kick out of that.
All about the...
JazzSpazz | Oct. 23, 2009 at 10:34 a.m.
Brad,
For years I have enjoyed your column. Though at times I have...
Steve | Oct. 23, 2009 at 9:36 a.m.
- Utes prepare to go bowling 6:15 a.m.
- Unbeaten BYU takes trip to Logan 6:14 a.m.
- Wildcats dangerous foe for Utes 6:04 a.m.
- Flash get dramatic win over D-Fenders 6:01 a.m.
- All-MWC football awards 5:57 a.m.
- Deseret News Ms. Volleyball 2009 5:48 a.m.
- 5A All-State volleyball teams 5:14 a.m.
- 4A All-State volleyball teams 5:14 a.m.
- 3A volleyball All-State teams 5:14 a.m.
- 2A All-State teams 5:14 a.m.
- 2 citations issued at Y.-U. game
- BYU says Hall incident resolved
- Max Hall: a fixture in rivalry lore
- Witness: Mitchell wanted attention
- 'Grandfamilies' a growing trend
- MWC '09 season in review
- Mitchell called intelligent, controlling
- Daughter: Mitchell fed me my pet
- Find joy in life, Bishop Burton says
- Jazz ready to be without Harpring
- Hall mouths off about hate of Utah
906 - Cougars beat Utes in overtime
483 - Hall reprimanded by MWC
404 - Max Hall issues apology
387 - Hall's pain reflects self-betrayal
349 - Utes won't respond to Hall
276 - BYU says Hall incident resolved
238 - 2 citations issued at Y.-U. game
161 - BYU is champion of the state
143 - Religion in politics is tiresome
129
Those were quite the pictures of Jamie Whittingham mixing it up with BYU...
If he was smuggling North Koreans to Southeast Asia, he was dealing with a...
Mixed feelings here, but it seems like most folks in favor of closing it...
When I was in my 30's, I obtained custody of my nephews due to parental...
This country has hit an all time low in leadership and representation of the...
The CO2 concentration in the atmosphere is currently 385 ppm, the highest...
Hey did you see on ESPN that Miles and D-Will were BOTH ranked in the bottom...
Hall's apology was not an apology. He realized that he had lumped most of the...
Actually the ones interupting the town hall I attended were SEIU union thugs...
If American's are going to focus its security in another country they should...
Note to Dave Rose: You can have more than one rival. Yes Utah is a bigger...




