Mr. Korver, up for dinner at my place?

Published: Thursday, Oct. 22, 2009 11:32 p.m. MDT
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My daughter's birthday is coming up next month, and I know just the gift: dinner with Kyle Korver.

She once joked about having me hook her up with that good-looking new Jazz player — "hot" was the term I think she used — and I said, yeah, right, I'd put it at the top of my to-do list.

Now I'm actually thinking I could make it happen, except for two things: It costs a lot, and the plan I have in mind isn't available in Salt Lake.

Otherwise, heck of an idea.

It's been a long time coming, but economic realities are finally affecting NBA players. That was brought home during the free agent period, last summer, when Carlos Boozer got no better offers than the one he already had from the Jazz. During the season, he had predicted he would command a guaranteed raise "no matter what."

Now comes an even bigger shock for super rich athletes: They may actually have to do something besides play basketball to sell their product.

My birthday brainstorm came after hearing the New Jersey Nets are selling ticket packages that include four courtside tickets for 10 games, plus parking, access to the big-shots lounge and a one-hour appearance by the player of their choice. The player may appear at the buyer's office, home, school or even party.

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"That's a terrific thing and it's tough to put a price tag on it," said Nets' CEO Brett Yormark.

But they managed. The cost is $25,000.

That's one expensive hookup.

The marketing idea hasn't spread to other NBA teams, but if it does, I might fork over the money and get Korver to visit our house. I'll just tell my daughter we're having a surprise guest, and suddenly he'll be sitting by her at the dinner table, first chair on the left. Or maybe I'll request a visit from Mr. Guaranteed Raise himself, Boozer. Since he'll be employed by me for an hour, I might ask him to do a few tricks, like blowing milk through his nostrils or singing happy birthday in a falsetto.

I may even convince him to come out to my driveway and let me beat him in a game of H-O-R-S-E.

You know, so the neighbors can see.

If there's time before the hour is up, I'll entertain him with my knock-knock jokes.

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Abbott.

Abbott who?

Abbott time you guys started living like the rest of us!

Recent comments

I have been enjoying Brad's columns for years and this has to be one...

james | Oct. 24, 2009 at 10:32 a.m.

Brad: Great article. I got a kick out of that.

All about the...

JazzSpazz | Oct. 23, 2009 at 10:34 a.m.

Brad,
For years I have enjoyed your column. Though at times I have...

Steve | Oct. 23, 2009 at 9:36 a.m.

Image

Utah Jazz center Mehmet Okur, if he played for New Jersey, could be your private dinner guest for just $25,000.

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