Creepy thrills add to charm of Halloween

Today, I'm going to tell you why Halloween is one of my favorite holidays.

But first, I want to talk about cats and also Satanists. (I'm guessing THAT got your attention.)

Some of you may recall that a few years ago, cats started turning up dead in the old Salt Lake cemetery. Word spread quickly that this was the work of a local chapter of Devil Worshippers.

DEVIL WORSHIPPER No. 1: I move we bring this meeting to a close.

DEVIL WORSHIPPER No. 2: I second the motion.

DEVIL WORSHIPPER No. 3: And may I remind everyone that light refreshments will be served in the lobby after we adjourn.

OK. I have to say this story about Devil Worshippers COMPLETELY got to me because (a) I live right next door to the cemetery and (b) I have three cats.

Yes! I know! Three cats + Me = Crazy Cat Lady! And ha ha ha ha I don't even care!

Anyway, as I was saying, this story made me P.R.E.T.T.Y jittery.

You can bet if there were Devil Worshippers at large in my neighborhood, I was going to keep my cats locked up. Especially at night! When Devil Worshippers come out to play! And also eat light refreshments!

This went on for a few years — cats showing up dead in the cemetery, people whispering that those Devil Worshippers were at it again — until one day, a local wildlife expert appeared on the evening news and unloaded this bombshell: You know all those cats in the cemetery?

Well, guess what? A skulk (this is the proper collective noun) of foxes was responsible.

POSSIBLE BUMPER STICKER: DEVIL WORSHIPPERS DON'T KILL CATS, FOXES KILL CATS.

But of course! Duh!

Anybody who's spent any time walking through the cemetery first thing in the morning knows there's a family of foxes that lives there.

Papa Fox. Mama Fox. Baby Foxes (who sometimes peer in silent suspicion at you over grassy knolls).

It stands to reason that they were the ones responsible for the local catnappings all along.

Well, when the news broke, you could hear a collective sigh of ... disappointment throughout the neighborhood.

Oh, come on. It's a LOT more thrilling to chalk up something to unnatural causes than to natural ones.

I'm right about this, right? Right?

Who wants to blame something on stupid foxes that live in cemeteries when there might be actual Devil Worshippers in the house?

Which brings us to the reason I love Halloween. Halloween is all about the Unnatural — ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night.

It's about the unknown and the unseen and every little thing that makes shivers chase down your spine because THERE ISN'T A LOGICAL EXPLANATION FOR IT.

It's about what lies beneath the irrational masked by a rational veneer.

Halloween reminds us of a time when human beings didn't know all the answers, and say what you will, sometimes not knowing can be exciting.

Besides … people give you free Snickers. (Also Milky Ways.)

e-mail: acannon@desnews.com