DC Metro Moms blog: Changing my son's behavior with a few words

I am constantly reminded, thankfully, that motherhood is an evolution. It's a constant learning process. Just when I think I have it mastered, a.k.a., 'I know my child', I am in a situation that surprises me, or he surprises me … Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I sometimes foolishly, on a particularly fantastic day, think that I have it all goin' on.

And then I don't. I have read so many parenting books, blogs, Internet articles and parenting magazines that I sometimes, again foolishly, think there can't be a parenting technique or philosophy, I don't know about.

And then, kindergarten began …

And I noticed that my son wasn't making much of an effort with his coloring/educational projects that he brought home. I asked him about why he was just kinda scribbling and he dismissed me with, "I'm not a good colorer."

He's never really been into coloring, he's more of a drawing-kinda-guy.

"I think you are." I replied, and then left it alone.

Then, during the day, I remembered some parenting advice — I don't remember where I read it of course, but I think it was from a book because I remembered it while walking into our living room, passing the stack of books we have on a book shelf by our couch — yes, this is how my mind works.

"Praise the effort." That's it. Don't necessarily praise the outcome of your child's efforts, praise the effort itself … I started with a "good effort" and kept it up. And I can see a difference already, a HUGE difference. My son's coloring has gone from scribble to coloring-inside-the-lines.

Just last night before bed, my son showed Dad and me how he learned to make his letters correctly and wrote "cookies" and "pizza" on the white board in his playroom! Are you kidding me?! And HE wanted to show US; he brought it up! Was he just still hungry?

Now, this can be attributed to his great teacher, "good" peer pressure, just purely practicing — but I think it's also due to the consistent praise of his effort. I've been acknowledging the time he's spent working on his coloring and printing. And I think he digs that.

Nobody will win every game, or spelling bee, or contest, or 'best paper' award, but by praising our children's efforts — they always have something to be proud of.

This is an original post from the DC Metro Moms Blog. When Nicole isn't relearning parenting skills to apply to her 'big kid', she's over at BananaBlueberry, where she likes to concentrate on the good stuff.

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