TSA makes lots of us belligerent

I wasn't there. Odds are, neither were you. So how can any of us judge what happened between congressman Jason Chaffetz and the folks running the magnetometers at the Salt Lake Airport?

Easy. Just because we weren't there doesn't mean we haven't all been there.

Of course it was ugly. Of course it was unpleasant. Of course the TSA security personnel were no help at all in defusing the situation. Of course the congressman didn't like how he was treated and let them know how he felt — and what he does for a living had nothing to do with it.

Clearing airport security is about as much fun as having your teeth drilled. It makes you want to become a billionaire just so you can fly your own plane. It makes you want to drive if your destination is anywhere closer than Katmandu.

Chaffetz says he didn't get belligerent. Right. How can you not get belligerent in that setting? Mother Teresa would tell them where to put their full body scanner. Who among us would want to see video of our passage through the airport security gauntlet? Particularly on those days when our flight is about to leave the gate and we're singled out for the random screening.

TSA says its people acted with respect. Right. Was that before or after the patdown?

Let's face it, the system is devoid of honor and humanity. Step in the security line and you lose your dignity and your rights. You're presumed guilty before you're proven innocent. The terrorists won.

Inside the security corridor lies a vacuum of no common sense and no nonsense.

I have a friend who is one of the wittiest people alive. One day he was at the airport screener and a TSA employee asked him if his bag had ever been out of his possession.

In an unguarded moment of weakness, ignoring that voice that told him he shouldn't, he said, "Well, yeah."

The screener said, "When?"

And he said, "Just now, when you guys took it and put it on the belt."

They whisked him off to a special room and went through every item in his bag. For a minute there he was a candidate for Gitmo.

Lost in the translation was the fact that a genuine terrorist would be the last person to joke with security. Not to mention that technically he was right.

I do believe the TSA when they say they didn't know who Chaffetz was. They don't know who anyone is. I've seen 90-year-old great-grandmothers frisked. I've seen Cub Scouts yanked out of line for having more than three ounces of insect repellent.

All the while Islamic terrorists are out there going, dang, there goes the grandmother/Cub Scout ploy.

And now, don't even think about impersonating a congressman.

I feel as bad for the people who have to run the system as I do for the ones who have to run through it. I wouldn't be any fun either if I had to face people for eight hours every day who didn't want to take off their belts, shoes, rings, jewelry and jackets and had to put their laptop in a separate tray.

People are all over Chaffetz for this, saying he thinks he's above it all and deserves special treatment, but I'm saying he didn't do anything any different that the rest of us if we'd been in his shoes, or out of them.

He was in a tight spot. Everybody was. At the airport scanner nobody gets the last laugh.

Lee Benson's column runs Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Please send e-mail to benson@desnews.com